Ep 2: Communication: It Should be Happening

Open Episode Text PDF in a New Tab

Rachel: “Why do I get stuck with men who won’t have a real conversation with me and someone else gets a god like man who can read minds, who has conversations with people in vegetative states?

Kayla: Are you talking about the research done by Adrian Owens et al?  It’s called,  Human consciousness is supported by dynamic complex patterns of brain signal coordination.

Yes i am, that’s the one

Music Intro

Hey everyone, my name is Kayla

And this is Rachel with Dating Hypothesis,thank you so much for joining us today!

My current goal in life is to study under Dr. Adrian Owens. Brains create patterns when we think about movement or objects. fMRI’s can detect these patterns. He uses this to converse with fully conscious patients who are in vegetative states.

It fascinates me that he can talk to people who technically should not be able to communicate with anyone at all.

Dr. Owens is giving these people a chance to interact with their environment again.

Aren’t you in a relationship with a fully grown conscious man who won’t talk to you?

Yes I am.

With a dozen forms of communication why do we struggle in our relationships to have simple conversations? We are able to speak, grunt, sign, sing, dance, draw, morse code, blink, wink, high five, write, and now we have computers helping read minds all because we won’t focus or give our partners the time and attention they need to successfully communicate with us.

Add “Two Beats”

* Begin conversation 

Let’s begin with writing. A long time ago in Mesopotamia scholars started using papaya sheets to mark down the amounts of grain stored in a shed. If you are not willing to communicate using your mouth, hands, or body language, you can write things down. Symbols are an easy way to communicate. Humans have been doing this for five thousand years.

There are people who communicate very well in relationships. Others have psychological disorders, or are introverted, and yet others just don’t want to share their private thoughts.

My boyfriend won’t tell me when his tennis lessons are, where practice is, or when he will be home.

Which is a normal thing to communicate to your partner. Sounds like you are not in a relationship. You don’t have a partner. You have an abuser. There is a difference between not sharing personal thoughts and not communicating at all.

Right, because even if he didn’t have time to tell me he could stick the schedule on the fridge, or text me (don’t forget you can text your partner even if your partner is sitting right next to you, it’s easy to forward an email or text), If you are in a relationship with someone that doesn’t like to verbally update you with their day to day schedule changes get a white board, these are all good ways to communicate to your partner.

Lack of communication actually communicates one thing very clearly: That, I am not important to you. And that can be heard loud and clear. If this is not your intent then you should find a way to communicate to your partner.

It is our responsibility to recognize the strengths and weaknesses in our partners’ communication styles.

It is also our responsibility to strengthen our own weak communication styles.

I had an amazing psychology teacher first year of college. Our final report was a presentation and I had a specific way I wanted to present my final report so I asked him if it was okay. He said “Rachel, I don’t care how you present your final. You can do an interpretive dance if you want to.”  I loved that man. I loved his approach to life and teaching. Can you imagine being in a relationship with someone only capable of communicating through interpretive dance? “Honey, what would you like for breakfast?”

I can see you living your life in interpretive dance.

I am fascinated by people who can speak dozens of languages. Hyper polyglots. Here in the States, it is normal to only know one language. There are so many parts of the world where people speak at least three languages.

So this episode is about whether men suck at communication or not. I read an article about the importance of communication in sports. It’s a billion dollar industry.

And, we are talking about multiple sports. They successfully communicate with each other during a variety of sports. They are communicating successfully on television, on the radio, and in person with each other, so there is verbal, body, hand gesture, written, and secret codes happening.

A coach will take a poor team and develop them into a winning team. Can this be done without communication? I think not. I stopped believing men cannot communicate when I fully absorbed this concept.

Men can communicate successfully. The business world has been dominated by men forever. How could this be if they were unable to communicate successfully? 

There is something very peculiar happening in the relationship world. Women get tricked into believing we have different communication styles, enough so… that men get a free pass “to not have difficult conversations with us”.

Even your common thief can communicate successfully. Thieves have a communication style. They are capable of organizing and working together. These are people perfectly comfortable scamming you out of your wallet, identity, or even hitting a casino together. They use light signals, hand signals, eye signals, they mark cards, there are so many ways to communicate. All you need is a common goal.

I like that last sentence. All you need is a common goal. If you are in a relationship that lacks communication and you are frustrated. Take a step back and assess if there is a common goal.

If you feel ignored or unheard…then you are probably being ignored and brushed off.

Vagabonds passing through towns “mark underneath bridges”, along fences, and on buildings to show if an area is safe or dangerous. The markings convey if the area is friendly or if there is food. I can imagine it is important to know which area is safe. Communication amongst the homeless is important. Symbols are great for people who are unable to read, and symbols erase language barriers.

As a society we tend to undermine people with a limited ability to communicate. Stephen Hawking made his way through the ladies just fine despite limited communication abilities. Any fully conscious person on this planet should be able to successfully communicate as Adrien Owens has proven.

The eyes convey so much. We start most of our romantic endeavors by flirting with just our eyes. That seduction technique is a form of communication used to pull in our partners.

My boyfriend prefers to communicate solely with his eyes. I just wish he was capable of conveying more complicated thoughts than “me okay” and “me mad”.  It is very lonely to live with someone who won’t talk to you.

There is a book written for paralyzed patients. These patients use eye movement to communicate. The NeuroGen Brain & Spine Institute had the book designed to teach caregivers, staff, and families the language. These are conscious people wanting to convey their needs. They are unable to speak or use body language. They talk with their eyes.

Plenty of people on the planet talk with their hands. Sign language is common enough. It is easy to find books, videos, and classes to learn sign language. When my son was four years old he asked for a sign language book. I bought him two. An easy and an advanced one. I set them in his room and promptly forgot about them. A week later this kid comes out of his room signing to me. I assumed he was trying but just waving his hands around so I sat with him and we went through the books. He was actually signing. I was blown away. He learned it all on his own the prior week. I started watching videos with him so he could learn more and I got him a tutor. He loved it.

If you are in a relationship and feel like there is a lack of communication please remember there are six talking apes capable of signing. These animals are not memorizing individual words for food and water. These apes are conveying sentences. You can have a successful conversation with them about grief, joy, and self awareness.

Think long and hard about that when your partner makes a backhand statement about “the difficulty men have in expressing their emotions”. Maybe there is a reason for the lack of effort? Maybe your partner just doesn’t care to engage with you that way?

There are escaped pet parrots in the wild teaching wild birds how to swear. Humans and animals interact on so many levels. We destroy habitats, wiping out species. We pollute the rivers, streams, and oceans. We slaughter billions of animals for food, clothes, and trinkets. We have marine life in our theme parks doing tricks for treats. Horses and dogs run in circles, winning races so we can win a bet. Elephants, llamas, and camels give children rides at festivals. A large portion of humans have a pet or a dozen pets. Lizards, hamsters, fish, parrots, cats, and dogs. Proof of communication with animals. 

From drug sniffing dogs and guide dogs for the blind, communication with animals happens. It happens around the world even though people around the world have different languages and communication styles.

Audience: “Are you one of those people who communicates better with animals than humans? Do you find it less stressful to convey your needs to an animal because it will focus on you enough to figure out what you want? Are you in a relationship with someone who will communicate with their dog but not you?”

If you are uncomfortable communicating with your mouth or body remember you can literally just flick your hand around in certain ways and humans and animals will understand what you are saying.

Babies will understand what you are saying.

I was fascinated by the idea of baby sign when I was growing up. They are so little, we think just because they can’t talk they can’t communicate. Because they don’t speak English they must be incapable of understanding us at all. Yet they can learn to sign months before they can learn to speak English. That’s pretty intelligent. Infants can’t walk, yet they are successfully communicating what they need.

The closer I got to my due date I started getting anxiety. I had this trauma in my brain about babies screaming at me for food. I was bent on choosing a signal for my infant that was not vocal.

It had to be something distinct. Something a babysitter could interpret. Something the child could do early that would be easily recognized. I settled on clucking. From birth, I would click like this ”…” every time I was nursing him. By the time he was four months old he would ask for food by clucking. The clucking was a very quiet calming soothing sound.

Would you have been a good mother that first year if he spent it crying for milk?

No, there’s no way.

It’s okay to know your weaknesses and cater to your strengths. There is always a solution to problems. Just get creative.

The only time his clucking was a problem was when I forgot to tell a new babysitter he would cluck for his bottle. She called me later on the phone and was like “your kid has been clucking at me for an hour it’s very bizarre I don’t know how to make him stop” and I was like “oh my God he wants his bottle”. Babies have it rough, when they don’t have tools to communicate they literally have to guess how to get what they need, and the best guess is a high pitch scream of frustration.

Did you know bugs use chemical signals to communicate? That would be a cool way to communicate with an infant that doesn’t know English yet.

I mean we already use chemicals to communicate. That’s what our entire internal system is.

Audience: “If you are interested in how we talk to our gut bacteria, we discuss the brain gut bacteria axis of communication during episode one.” 

A protest is a form of communication. Sometimes protests are not allowed and people will do a parade of cars honking horns and shouting out their windows. This is a form of communication.

– We are going to take a break in a second but first what frustrates you about communication? What are your good and bad communication styles? Tell us your personal love stories surrounding the topic of communication. Do you believe men are good or bad at communicating? Does your partner communicate successfully with you? Write to us on facebook, twitter, or Instagram.

– Let’s take a quick Commercial break, we will be right back. (wait 3 seconds) And we are back.

Commercial spot one: (15:52) 

Add “Two Beats”

** Resume conversation

Two neuroscientists walk into a psychic fair…

There is a subset of society that relies on psychics and mediums. They rely on them for their love life which fascinates me.

Instead of talking to their spouse or partner they will try to get advice from somebody that potentially has absolutely no idea about their living situation, and they take this advice to heart.

I guess it is pretty similar to going to counseling. But at least you get to describe your life for an hour to a counselor before they try to guide you.

But psychics are so cool!!! I don’t know of any counselors that claim to be able to communicate with the dead.

When I hear about a person riddled with grief, going to a psychic to communicate with a loved one who’s passed on, my only thought is

“did you bother trying to communicate with them when they were alive”???

I have no problem with the crystals, incense, healing stones, aura readings, palm readings, tea leaf readings, tarot card readings, oils, herbs, jewelry, candles, soap, smudges, wands, energy readings and channeling…

Because, I know Intention is real.

I know focusing your intention helps strengthen your neurons for that intent. I think it is okay to use this medium. It isn’t hurting anyone as long as you are not making medical or physical healing claims. If you are telling people you can cure cancer with a crystal necklace then I have a problem with new age spirituality.

But as long as you are helping someone with ghosts or getting excited about new love or a new job…I am okay with that kind of energy redirection. If a person expects love or a new job…they are suddenly looking for love or a job opening. 

They are more inclined to accept a date or job offer or “hear uncle Johnny” talking about a job opening.

I spent a week in New Orleans with my favorite boyfriend of all time. We got two readings together. One lady was set up under a tent and we knew it was going to be bad. The second reading however was in a creepy old house. That was way more interesting. She sat there taking us in for a few minutes. Gathered herself and really listened to her gut. She could feel us. She could see us. She could hear our vocal tones and pitch. This girl had spent her life reading people and was good at her job. She gave us both sound advice that fit us. Even the bad reading was fun it brought us closer together. It was fun trashing the bad psychic. And It was fun talking about the good one for an hour afterwards. She opened up conversations we would not have had otherwise.

Audience: “Are these people really connected to the spirit world? Do these people really hear the spirit world?”

“Can you hear voices? Hearing voices: demonic, divine, angelic, speaking in tongues, God, spirituality, inner voices, schizophrenia, this is all a form of communication. But with who or what and why? How does communication of this nature affect relationships? Does it make them better, stronger, or more difficult?”

Some of us hear voices. And most of the time it’s not hurting you. It is not dangerous. It can be wonderful. It can have a spiritual or religious meaning. It can be private and deeply personal or something we need to share with the world. These voices may help us in times of distress.

These voices may be associated with a mental disorder. If these voices are a positive influence doing no damage…? What’s the harm if it is also bringing a sense of self-identity or a purpose in life?

Who gets to decide if a voice is spiritual or pathological?

Who has the right to judge us for hearing these voices? When is it okay to shame someone for talking to divine beings? When are you the observer doing more damage by diagnosing someone and giving therapy to stop a voice?

I know you have a voice inside of you. We all seem to have an inner voice we can argue with and engage with, in deep lengthy discussions. We swing like pendulums between decisions. We do things we know we shouldn’t. We make decisions that hurt the people we love and if we are good people we agonize over it. 

Where does the authority come from to stomp out someone’s ability to talk to Angels or God? Why do scientists get to declare there is no g*d?

Who are you going to believe? A man in a white lab coat? A scientist who can tell you all about hydrogen reacting with oxygen. Or someone who can talk to god? How about, someone that died and was resuscitated?

We as a society are more willing to believe a man who never died, while we ridicule those who have come back “just because they claim to have spoken to angels and g*d”.

80% of the world population identifies with a specific religion. Only 20% do not. Those 20% get to make fun of, mock, teach in schools and universities their opinion, and tout science is more real than spirituality.

Supposedly science is more important than “the peace and harmony a near death experiencer can impart”. We understand traveling to new planets, new lands, to the depths of the ocean to discover strange fish that glow and fish that are transparent.

When the ocean diver comes back with fantastical stories of fish not requiring oxygen or sunlight do we mock and shame them? Why not? Why not if they don’t have photographic proof? It’s not like we can all dive down and see for ourselves. Instead we find ways to capture the fish or invent machines to dive down and video the fish. Not all fish survive being captured or brought to surface. We are capable of believing something we think is impossible,

But anything dealing with death, spirits, god, or ghosts scientists declare it hocus pocus because a scientist cannot study it. I invite every scientist on this planet over to my apartment. I will gladly kill you. You may take my camera on your spirit walk to record your death experience and I will resuscitate you so you can tell me all about how “fake” it was. 

Then and only then will you have more authority over what is “possible after death” than I do. I died. You have not. I have been there. You have not. Mock me if you will. I defy your ignorance on the subject. You can spew all the data about “dying neurons” and “eyeballs shutting down”, “to seeing fake hallucinatory lights” till you bleed from your teeth. You were not dead. I was.

Uh, Rachel, are you okay? You will not be inviting scientists here to kill them. That’s not okay.

They focus on descriptions clinically free of god-like interpretations. They label everyone else a nut case. I don’t care if you hinder science by making people scared to tell the truth. You can’t stop my truth. I’m not scared of you.

I will communicate my crazy eye-rolling simpleton uneducated description of my near death experience and my interaction with the intelligence out there, and you can’t stop me. The very thing you dole out “scientific names” to, I call intelligence.

I was dead for three minutes when I was 9 years old. Scientists discredit NDE’es as hallucinations formed from our life memories. They say “What we have encountered here on Earth” gets jumbled up in our dying neurons. I was only 9. The scope of what I went through… could not begin to have come from my nine year old brain.

Another joke scientists will laugh about is placing a note on top of a shelf… to see if the spirit out of body can read it …since the dead people claim to have out of body experiences looking down at the room seeing every little detail.

But Christopher Chabris and Daniel Simons did The Invisible Gorilla experiment showing humans do not see every single detail offered in a scenario.

I mean for fucks sake, I just died and I’m headed towards a light watching my human body die beneath me…and you think I am supposed to notice a piece of paper you laid on the top shelf for me? Are you an idiot?

God says “come toward the light” and I’m all “Hold, hold up god, just a minute, there is a piece of paper on the top shelf and I just have to know what it says. Give me a sec to read it”.

I don’t need to read your piece of paper to prove I died. You don’t get to dictate my death experience and what I do and don’t notice. I can, and will …talk about god and it does not discredit my experience. Nor does talking about god make it an unscientific observation. I was a child. You think I gave a shit about whether I was going to see god? My brother was on top of my head in the deep end of a pool drowning my ass! You say “I saw what I wanted”?, “that which would bring me peace”?…if that were true…then 9 year old me would have seen cotton candy bunnies made out of chocolate.

Scientists get to pick apart pointing out inconsistencies in everyone’s stories. Who gave them the power to dictate what is correct or wrong about descriptions of something so incredible? English cannot begin to comprehend or detail appropriately what you all went through. And why do they get to declare the need for all deaths to be identical? We don’t even know what death is. But some scientist in a lab gets the power to say they must all be identical? I am pretty sure the infant born with the umbilical cord wrapped around its neck has a different birth story than the Csecion or perfect vaginal canal birth story.

I didn’t hear the voice of God. But I did have a conversation. There was this knowledge. I knew I could go forward to the next life…not of this universe or dimension. Or, I could be put back into my body. I chose to move on.

But you’re here?

I actually saw where I wanted to go. I got excited about being an energy form that would never experience pain, cold, or hunger. While I was trying to move that direction, I also knew I was supposed to “go back”. I knew if I didn’t finish life on earth, the next life would be very difficult. I asked about going back, and was told, If I went back too soon I would die. The body was not ready yet. So I waited. And this was a conversation. All this happened at once yet over the span of three minutes. Time didn’t exist there. I saw so much. Then, I was sucked back into my body.

Try explaining that to a scientist.

Since then, the rest of my life, I’ve felt like…I don’t fit in my body. I feel like, I am partly outside. It made growing up difficult. It’s made relationships difficult. Sometimes I feel like I “know things”

I feel like life would have been so much easier if i’d gone through life like everyone else…just reacting to the actions around me. Blissfully ignorant. Tightly contained inside my own brain and body. Selfish. And Entitled.

There are lessons we are supposed to learn while we are here. Pain, sacrifice, anger, mean people, cruelty, and the flip side of that coin. All the good things in life. It’s not about how you live when you are here.

You are just supposed to be here… going through it. 

All. of it?

All. of it.

So any and all choices made, while you are here, are up to you?

If you want to make earth a hellish nightmare you can. That’s on you. Plenty of folks make that choice. God doesn’t give a shit. “Free will, man”. Go ahead and bring the misery. But that is you, doing that. That is you inflicting that on others. If you are comfortable being an asshole…then you do you.

Did I just prove I have a mental disorder? Does me believing this make me pathological? I am not hurting anyone with my beliefs. I am not hurting myself with my beliefs.

Every one of us is vulnerable to our own negative inner voices. If you are a negative Nancy…and every single thing in your day is bad, and you talk yourself out of new experiences, out of hitting on that girl across the room that you feel inextricably drawn to, if you let your inner voice dictate whether you go to the gym, or become a recluse spiralling into a lonely depression…then you are more pathological than I.

It’s okay to talk to angels, fairies, and leprechauns, as long as that is a positive blessing in your life. It’s pathological when the voices we listen to cause harm to ourselves or others. Don’t let that inner voice hold you back. Don’t use excuses to not move forward.

We have a few more topics on death. The first one is “who gets to decide when you are officially dead”? Then, an article about genes activating 30 minutes after death. And then brain activity after death.

I read an interview with a doctor…and the person doing the interview asked “when is it OK to stop trying to resuscitate somebody that is considered clinically dead”? The doctor said “you are literally in the hands of the individual doctor”. Each doctor has their own individual beliefs. If a doctor believes you are dead, then they will stop trying to revive you. If that individual doctor believes they should try for an hour then you have an hour to come back from your near death experience if you are mostly dead and not all dead.

“It just so happens that your friend here is only mostly dead. There is a big difference between mostly dead and all dead. Mostly dead is slightly alive.”

One thousand and sixty three genes ramp up after death. Some did not increase until 24 and 48 hours after death. There were still genes activating three days after death. 96 hours postmortem. The genes involved are related to stress, immunity, inflammation, apoptosis, transport, development, epigenetic regulation, and cancer. An unknown transcript consistently increased with postmortem time.

The prostate gland is one of the last internal organs to deteriorate. Gene expression in male reproductive organs occurs during decomposition. Research is needed to figure out when gene expression ceases after death.

So what are these genes?

It’s probably not as cool as I want to imagine. We have so many suppressor genes suppressing things in our bodies. Most likely much of it is those suppressor genes dying first, releasing their grip on other gene expression which go to town when released until they die.

What is the brain doing after we are pronounced dead?

Electrical activity in the brain can be seen 30 minutes after death in patients. Which begs a question… if they were able to be revived 30 minutes later…and the doctor gave up 15 minutes in…is that a needless death?

It makes me think about the olden days when they would bury somebody and tie a string around the dead person’s finger threading the string up through the grave to the outside to tie it to a bell. A living person, usually a relative, would stay near the grave for a couple days to listen for the bell. Because every once in a while two days later a dead person would wake up. This is where the term “saved by the bell” comes from.

What about back in the guillotine days? There is a report, titled Justice Without the Executioner by Beaurieux (https://www.howtopronounce.com/french/beaurieux) written in 1905. His experiment was to see if decapitated heads were conscious after being chopped off.

Rachel, what does this have to do with dating?

Hush! He concluded the head was conscious for thirty seconds after decapitation. He insisted it was not just the firing of postmortem nerves. The decapitated head’s eyes fixated on his, he saw the eyelids lift up, and the pupils focused themselves. And it has to do with my deadbeat boyfriend not communicating with me when actual dead people are fully capable of and willing to. Unless your partner has been dead for years he has no excuse and even then Madame Rosella is willing to make him talk.

The most famous case of surviving decapitation is probably Mike the chicken. But was Mike a chicken or a rooster because…Anyways, back in 1945. in Colorado where you live, it was slaughter day and the ax missed cutting at an angle. Mike’s face came off missing the jugular vein and brain. A blood clot stopped the bleeding. This headless rooster was fed a mixture of milk and water for a year and a half until he choked to death on a kernel of corn. So in actuality, it was more like a faceless rooster and not so much a headless rooster.

I want a headless chicken. Other people have the coolest pets.

So we can survive without our faces. Great. Can we survive without Junk DNA?

There is no such thing.

Explain.

Why would our DNA carry around useless information? The very idea is idiotic. I am embarrassed for the scientists who made up the terminology and believed in junk DNA. The first time I heard the expression I laughed so hard I almost pissed my pants. Its pretty Ballsy to assume something we don’t comprehend is useless. Such a Man way to View things. Always dismissing things they don’t understand like the clit.

Thank god women in science like Nessa Carey don’t believe such rubbish and they continue to research. Regions of our DNA do not contain our own genetic information. Yet, those regions do something. We are still finding out what. Some regions regulate gene activity. What does that mean? “Regulate gene activity”?

Some genes are turned on, or fine tuned like turning up and down a volume knob, and sometimes an entire chromosome is turned off. “Regulating gene activity” is the activity behind our biological complexity. Parts of our DNA act as buffers. Think about the drawers in your house that contain shit you’re not willing to throw away. Not even years later. You don’t throw it away because it could be useful someday. 

DNA doesn’t throw away parts of itself that grow an embryo just because you are a teenager. That shit still needs to be passed on during conception.

And sometimes the items in the drawer are miracle cures for random odd problems.

Play pretend with me for a minute. Imagine you are on vacation for a week. Aliens have been watching you for months. They watch you leave and beam down to your home to throw away everything you haven’t used in months. They are trying to help. They know you don’t use these things. Except we do. We use stupid colorful plastic Easter eggs once a year. And we fill them with freshly made chocolate each year. 

Our DNA is capable of extraordinarily complex regulation…which if you remember…all developed from a single cell. Gene expression, patterns, timing, regulation, all matter in the 100 years you live. Each life phase needs very specific volume control. Did you know our DNA is able to fold, bringing crucial distant elements into the correct proximity needed for particular specific events? Like the Rubik’s Snake toy I had as a child.

This reminds me so much of the Voynich manual. It’s this book that’s been around for 100 years. No one knew what language it was written in, if it was from this planet, the drawings looked like an alien drew it. Educated people tried to figure it out. No one could. And then one day, somebody who understood shorthand, popped the book open and was like “oh yeah, this is just shorthand for medical terminology in Italy of that time”. Biggest FacePalm Ever! Sometimes you can try to communicate with someone till you are blue in the face but if you both don’t know shorthand, you’re never going to correctly interpret each other.

Speaking of aliens, I heard half our DNA isn’t even human.

And what does this have to do with dating? Ah, who cares. Potentially half of our DNA is just copies of viral infections our ancestors encountered. Maybe 8% are ancient viruses that inserted their genes into our genomes in our pre-human ancestors millions of years ago. These virus give us diseases not because we got infected in our lifetime but about one in a hundred people inherit as part of their genome.

Probably another 40% of our DNA is repetitive strings, again viral genes inserted. These virus-related sections of our genetic code do not participate in the normal construction and regulation of our body but are happy to give us a disease.

Geneticist Barbara McClintock, realized in the 1940s, stretches of our DNA behave like a trojan horse. DNA chunks are able to move about the genome, copying and pasting themselves wherever they see fit, she calls them “jumping genes.” Some are benign, some are helpful, some are destructive. Under normal healthy conditions we immobilize this by blocking their sequences from being read or copied. The protein known as TDP-43, keeps us safe from those stretches of DNA.

Our bodies are built to communicate. DNA, RNA, mRNA, Hormones, Pheromones, genes from thousands of viruses in our DNA, gut bacteria, The language centers in our brains, my five senses that help me train a newly adopted puppy,

Astronauts live for years on the International Space Station and manage to call home. Yet some of us are in a relationship right now with a man who won’t have an hour conversation with us on Sunday morning.

The only one I seem to be giving advice to is you, Rachel. I would suggest finding something better. Maybe search out a conversation with Aliens?

In 1960 Seti began using radio telescopes searching for signs of alien life. Located near San Francisco, California. Back in 1977 there was a brief “Wow! signal” recorded (that probably was two comets passing. It was never observed again). Then in Dec 2020 a mysterious radio signal was identified coming from the nearest star to the Sun – Proxima Centauri. SETI Institute has more than 100 research scientists. Prior to 2015, SETI was “creeping along” with a few dozen hours of telescope time a year. It has a new funding of $100 million, called Breakthrough Listen which will survey 1 million of the closest stars.

Of course there was a mysterious signal in 2020.

Why are we not searching light for messages? Data is transmittable inside light but do we bother looking for alien communication in light? We assume aliens have ears and use radio waves. Harald Haas promotes Li-Fi, a device that combines two basic functionalities: illumination and wireless data transmission.

It transmits far more data than a cellular tower. You have to have the light on to transmit data, but you can dim down the light to a level that it appears to be off.

Do aliens even want to talk to us? We think we are so fucking great. What does an alien see when they drive by this solar system? Put yourself in their spaceship. They are cruising along, they look to the right. What do they see? Debris. Just outside our planet littering our space. Anybody passing by this system is going to be like “EEw” We trash our space, our planet, our yards, we have wars, we kill each other, We are the white trash Galaxy.

More than 27,000 pieces of orbital debris, or “space junk,” like: nonfunctional spacecraft, abandoned launch vehicle stages, mission-related debris, and fragmentation are tracked by the Department of Defense’s global Space Surveillance Network sensors.

It threatens every space mission, including the International Space Station, an impact from a tiny piece would create big problems.

If we are going to communicate with aliens can we please clean up our front yard first? Don’t invite alien life to tea when your space lawn is trashed ghetto style. It is so embarrassing to be human sometimes.

What if we only communicated using frequency? In 2013 Darren Paul Fisher directed a movie. In his movie every person emits a specific frequency. I loosely noted a subplot to question the power, value, and words of the bible. And it touched on classical music and how humans are affected by that.

Music, song, vibration, frequency, harmony, are all amazing ways to communicate. Even babies think so. I have to ask you a silly question: “would you prefer to be with a spouse who could not communicate at all or with a spouse who’s only form of communication was singing to you”? 

I prefer singing! Even if it meant I had to live in a musical. I don’t mind everyone breaking into song and dance around me. I think that would be great. I wish my chemistry lab class was a live musical.

We are about to take a break but first I have to ask is it okay to believe in spirits, fairies, or Santa Clause? Do you know someone that got hurt believing in Santa Clause, fairies, or god? Please write in to our social media and tell us about your communication with the Divine, demonic, psychic, dead, or aliens. Tell us your stories. What frustrates you about your partner and their communication? We have Tic Tok and Youtube.

– We are going to take a Commercial break, we will be right back. (wait 3 seconds) And we are back.

Commercial spot two: (46:24)

Add “Two Beats”

*** Finish conversation

Are you having problems communicating with your partner? Do you wish you could read their mind? Would a computer device that could type out their thoughts for you be appealing? What can a computer actually suss out from our minds?

Today, computers know what your neural networks look like when you’re focused on a photograph of a house versus a ball. When shown four photographs the computer will know which one you are looking at because our brains create specific patterns during certain thoughts.

Computer interface is real. You can think about pushing an object on the screen and the object on the screen moves. This is your brain forming specific neural patterns and the computer recognizing the neural network of the thought “push”.

Our thoughts create specific patterns when we think. Whether we think about objects, sentences, or imagining our bodily movements. We teach computers these patterns. We have human to human mind reading through a computer called signal transduction.

Elon Musk’s project sews computer connections directly into our skulls. Elon Musk, if you are listening I will get your computer interfacing sewn into my brain please let me be your research subject. And I want to help populate Mars. Please get me off this planet.

What if we could implant a device inside a vein near the brain without opening up the skull and without sacrificing accuracy while maintaining a strong neurologica signal? It is easy to thread a stent quite a distance through a blood vessel, open it, and leave it where you want it.

A stent is a mesh tube used to hold open a tube or canal. Synchron has created a stent which is actually a computer interface. Sensors cover the stent to collect nearby brain signals, transmit them to a device. From there, the signals are wirelessly transmitted to an external receiver, at which point they can be used to communicate with a computer or other machine. The first human trials started in 2019 to test the ability of people using their thoughts to control digital devices. 

So, soon I can implant this stent in my boyfriend’s brain and read his thoughts? Cool.

Not willing to get an implant? Still need to know what the hell your spouse is thinking? He sits on the couch next to you; day in, and day out… never saying a word. Get him Neko Mimi ears. Animal lovers know what their cat or horse is thinking. Now you can know what your partner is thinking. These ears function so you can see his baseline emotions. When you are relaxed, your brain creates a specific pattern. The ears have a device that recognizes those waves and moves the ears to reflect relaxation.

I watched videos of it in action and it actually worked! When the women are excited the ears perk straight up. Ha Ha, if you are living with a teenager and they come home from school; you ask them how their day was at school and they don’t answer… just stick this headband on their head.

There used to be toy helicopters sold for kids which would fly up when the kids were able to get their minds to a certain pattern of thought. Researchers and corporations understand it all starts with something simple. Once it’s perfected it quickly escalates to mind blowing technology.

But what about cheap, easy to use technology a partner can use to communicate with us?

Like an app?

Have a clingy girlfriend who wants you to text her every single day? Need that pussy focused on you but not actually bothering you all day? Bro App. Bro App has your back.

I feel like this is a sponsorship. We do not sponsor Bro App. But it is a technology that’s out there. It could be helpful if you are in a situation like this.

I actually did use an app called Invisible Boyfriend. It is a paid texting app. Real people answered my texts as my boyfriend. They had to stay in character. It was a collection of people vying for the opportunity to make $.23 to answer a text. It worked great. I could get a return text in 1 to 10 minutes any hour of the day or night. Who gets real turn around time like that from a guy?

Yes, but why did you use it?

I had just been dumped by this guy that I was 100% in love with. For eight weeks I thought we were dating, since we were going to church together and holding hands during coffee hour. But he was actually trying to get his girlfriend of three years back. I had no idea. He never told me that part.

He dumped me out of the blue with zero warning. I could not process what had just happened to me. So I signed up for this app. I asked the void “why did you just break up with me, what the hell just happened?” The multitudes of people vying for that $.23 per text communicated with me as if they were him. Some of these people had great insight and offered up realistic scenarios as to why he had done this. It really eased my emotional trauma.

I can imagine people using it if they are lonely, to practice romance texting, want to feel needed, not ready to dive into a real relationship but they just want the comfort of knowing that somebody is talking to them,

I used it as therapy. It was damn cheap at $25/month.

Gmails boomerang is free. You can set up scheduled emails to go out. If you’re dying and you want a message sent afterwards, or if you really don’t have time to communicate every day you can schedule emails and get them all written in one day.

Okay but what about right now? How do I get him to open his mouth right now and have a pleasant conversation with me?

There are people who have been in a vegetative state and research has shown that using electricity or certain drugs has caused these patients to wake up suddenly for short periods of time. Some caregivers have been able to synchronize the electric pulses to the brain to keep patients awake for several days but then they lapse again, maybe because they’re exhausted?

That’s what I need. My boyfriend acts like he lives in a vegetative state. Sometimes I just want to ZAP the shit out of that fucker with electricity to wake his ass up.

Rachel!

I mean, would a taser work?

Not okay Rachel.

I swear to God I was married to a man whose only form of communication was the way he would huff at me. Seriously, I wondered if my life was going to consist of this for the next 80 years. It’s bad enough when your teenage kids do it, but a spouse? Really? 

Have you ever gone hiking and gotten lost and saved by those cairns? Those rocks people stack up to show where the path is? That’s a form of communication.

I was a delivery driver for Amazon for a summer and I saw those rock piles in people’s front yards. It seriously made me wonder if it was an invitation of some sort for lost people, or a religious statement only known by certain people? Or if it was just cool?

Maybe he doesn’t talk to you because he is around you all the time?

During Covid I was in the house with my boyfriend all day. He was upstairs remote teaching his students and I was downstairs babysitting his kids while they remote learned. We were in the same house all day but I didn’t know how his day had gone (he was behind a closed door upstairs, I didn’t know how his students were each day, I didn’t know how his mom was when she texted him). I wanted to ask how our days went. But when I did he looked at me like I was fucking crazy. “We are in the same house”. But I wanted to touch base. It was important to me to talk about the day, and he just wanted to lay down in a zombie state dead, staring at the ceiling, or play video games)

Some people have a mental block for sharing. Is he a loving healthy boyfriend?

Ha ha, no. Definitely not. It’s good sex though.

Yeah, Your descriptions of him make him sound like a narcissist.

We did not get into lies, gaslighting, purposeful silence, or other manipulative communication today. We are saving that for episode 15: When liars speak. But any men listening out there today…if you cheat on a woman then lie to her face when she instinctively knows something is off, you are destroying the fabric of communication. And if you gaslight her…guess what makes a person crazy? Cheating, lying about it, and gaslighting someone.

I have a hypothesis that communication is actually a sense. Like vision, smell, and taste. A sense is the input of information to our brain to process and understand our environment. I propose communication is a sense to understand the environment of the inside of another’s mind. “They” say a sense is only a one way street into our brains. I say it is a two way street: echolocation requires click output to generate environment details. Questions are required to decipher whether someone is the victim or perpetrator. Getting inside somebody’s mind to know the details of their childhood or even what they are thinking in that moment requires you to put out information in order to get back information so I want to redefine the terminology around senses and I want to add communication to our list of senses. And I want to redefine them as a two-way street mechanism.

Facial expressions, Art, Metaphors, Storytelling, Lies and manipulation, Silence, Movies, Books, Poems, Songs, Interpretive Dance, Rituals, Holidays, Braille, Communication is easy. If it is not happening…then it is purposely not happening. It is a choice to not communicate.

Sometimes you will find yourself in a relationship with somebody who is unwilling to communicate. It may not mean it’s a bad relationship. Only you will know. Maybe they communicate in a different way? When you asked him straight up “what is your communication style”, if he tells you it’s huffing and puffing then believe him. Learn their language. But make sure you are getting what you need out of the relationship. They also need to give you what you need.

Share Audience stories/ideas

I would like to introduce next week’s episode: We will talk about brain plasticity. We’ve all had “that partner” who would not change to save his own life. We watch our relationships deteriorate while we refuse to fix bad habits or form good habits. Our brains change and adapt in extraordinary ways. …yet we won’t change in little helpful ways for our partners. How long does change take? How can we take the steps needed to change and better ourselves for our partners? Hey audience “what habit of your partner do you wish they would change”.

We want you guys to submit your ideas/stories/and questions pertaining to next week’s topic. You can email us. Or, join our patreon. We want to hear from you. And if you got anything out of today’s episode give us some love, subscribe, and rate us.

Thank you so much everyone for listening. We love you. See you next week on Dating Hypothesis!!!

Music ends show