Ep 16: What is Sex?

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Rachel: I am not sure if I had sex last night. What’s the definition anyways?

Kayla: “Are you talking about the research done by Goettsch? “Clarifying Basic Concepts: Conceptualizing Sexuality.”

Rachel: “Yes I am, That’s the one!!!”

Music Intro
Hey everyone, my name is Kayla
And this is Rachel with Dating Hypothesis, thank you so much for joining us today!

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*Begin conversation This is a trigger episode as we will be mentioning rape, sexual abuse, and pedophilia. We have come to the conclusion, most of our episodes have a degree of these triggers in them. Maybe we should have a scale of One-Five for these? Like the minimum level of triggering topics mentioned would be an episode that uses them in a passing fashion. I would give those a one and two level. This episode would be a level three. Our episodes like episode 13 “Let’s get married Kids!” would be a four and five level.

That’s Rachel’s skewed outlook on life “always bringing up trauma”.

Well, when you break your toys they never quite function like they did before, Do They?

Let me paint a picture. Jimbo and Jack spend a week planning. Finally they wake up at 3am. They leave their “pretty little women” in bed and go hunting. After shooting the deer, they gut it, skin it, and process the meat. Then they stuff the head and mount it on the wall for all the world to see how manly they are. To celebrate they take their “pretty little women” out to dinner. While ordering, they tell the waitress they want their steak rare. They want it bloody. They want it to kick back when they bite into it. Later that night at home the women who spent a week witnessing this primality whisper to their men “I need you”. And they give a gentle push on the men’s shoulders to guide them down there. In the dark, these men’s faces drain of color, horror and dread fill their minds. These men who earlier that week killed an animal and then ordered raw bloody flesh to eat, turn blue at the thought of putting their tongue on a tiny pink button between their ladies legs. They get queasy. And these are REAL men, mind you. Don’t get me started on a well groomed handsome metrosexual man.

But Rachel, not all men are this way! Some are willing to take care of their women!

Last year, I had a boyfriend who would shove a vibrator at my pussy in an attempt to “seem fair”, after i got him off. This is a man I could get off in 99 ways because we had been together for a year after I learned his preferences. And he still couldn’t get me halfway there. All I wanted, was for him to throw me down on the bed, hold my legs open as far as his big burly manly arms could, and “go to town” face deep like he was tunneling through to the west coast, from his simpish east coast barbie dream house, in an attempt to find the wild west.

Why do some of our partners function this way? I have had both sides of the spectrum. Sometimes I wonder if it’s primal? Reproduction wise, only he needs to come, (we can get pregnant without cumming)

So true

Otherwise, humans probably would have gone extinct ages ago. Then again there are men out there who are happy to please. Why is that? Is it something they are proud of? Do they enjoy the accomplishment? Or do they genuinely care? Is it in their DNA or genetics? Are they the few who grew up watching their dads’ be good to their mom?

Kayla, what is your definition of sex?

Rachel, what is your definition of sex?

Any consensual thought, body language “suggesting you want it”, a look in your eyes, petting, masterbations of all sorts, all the way up to penetration of any hole in the body.

I don’t understand why you think a thought is sex? No one can get pregnant from thinking.

That is the weird world we live in. I have only gotten pregnant twice in my lifetime. So did I only have sex twice? I went through menopause 11 years ago. If sex means “being able to get pregnant” than I have been incapable of having sex for the last 11 years.

With, all the abuse I have been put through in my life time, I start my definition of sex from an “unwanted” point of view. Which is fucked up and wrong. My boyfriend wants to know when I started having sex. He judges me by my answer. I HAVE to answer. (Technically I should say…18 with the caveat of molestation starting at 7. But we were having sex. It wasn’t just molestation and it wasn’t rape.) So what the fuck am I supposed to say there?

So because my definitions of sex are so scrambled and mixed up I start my definition with a thought. If a disgusting creeper is thinking about shoving his dingledong anywhere near my vacinity “because he thinks, I was built for sex because he likes my flesh packaging” (which many men have actually told me “I was built for sex”)…that is an unwanted thought. I don’t even want creepers thinking about me. I would prefer to be invisible to those nasties. When I see the thoughts on their face I get repulsed and “feelings of being violated”. So, yes, thoughts in someone else’s head elicit feelings of violation in me if I can read those thoughts because of the way they choose to look at me. It just gets worse from there. If they start “joking”, talking about it, or fucking touching me, death to them. So, for me…sex begins with thoughts.

Kayla on when she can tell someone is hitting on her.

Okay, I challenge you to relabel non consentual thoughts and actions away from sex. Sex is wanted.

If it is unwanted…is it reallysex, or is it abuse? That is why “they” don’t use the word “sex” when speaking about molestation or rape. Correct terminology is used like violation, penetration, or touching. In reality “sex” has nothing to do with penises and vaginas, penetration, or pregnancy. I mean, I can get pregnant with a plastic turkey baster.

Kayla, Is “Oral”, …sex?

Kayla
Rachel is “Oral sex” actually sex?

One of my husband’s was into watching beasiality porn. The instant I found out “I was incapable of having sex with him”. We divorced soon afterwards.

Now, if I came home and my husband was sucking off our dog, I would get pretty upset. We are defining oral. Sucking off an animal is oral. I would view that as sexual. I might not define it as having actual sex with the dog. But it would certainly evoke a strong negative emotion in me while I think my husband is fucking the dog, because isn’t that what would come next?

A boss of mine had a little dog that would hump on his shoe. And he let it, he encouraged it, and he even helped it out “moving his foot” to help the little dog get off. I am sorry but the first time I saw that I knew in my heart that they were having sex when they did that because it was done together fully consentually! In my mind, they were having sex.

I am moving forward with your consential idea of sex. For me anything concentual that starts with a sexualized thought is sex. Whether it is “sexting”, oral sex, dry humping, mutual masterbation, soaking, or straight up penial/vaginal penetration.

I think one of the reasons men can get so upset about women reading romance novels is because We All Know it is pretty much her have mental sex with a book just like men holding a nudie magazines is them “having mental sex with photographs”!!!

Do men have a “primal need” to control his woman to the point “she can’t be reading a book” about other men, but when he is getting “his nut” to a photo “it’s just a photo”? We all know women’s sexuallity starts in their minds and they are super emotional creatures. Men seem to be less emotionally involved when it comes to sex.

I can see men “not wanting women” to get “those fancy ideas” a romance novel would give them about how passionate a guy should be towards her night and day.

One could argue a guy isn’t getting any fancy ideas about how women should be from a photograph but…

But if you are getting your nut to a photograph from a woman sexualizing herself, what ideas are you getting about women?

So what is happening when I force a man to go down on me? To me, I am no longer engaging in concentual sex. At that point I enter a perpetrator’s war.

Men are always shoving my face “down there” like I was born on my knees for them. But… when I ask for the same favor? You should see their faces! Anyone out there
“know that look”? Raise your hand if you know that look! They get this repugnent look and you “both realize” at the same time…sex just took a bad turn. If they don’t do it…I might not do it next time for them. Or tomorrow I might act pissy, depressed, or worse…”want to have that talk”. So they get this split second debate going in their eyes and suddenly their face lights up with this fake greasy smile and they mumble something like “of course dear” and they slither their way down there. But I’m already turned off! Like, when I felt their resistance to my gentle push on their shoulder, never mind the look on their face still etched in my mind from a few seconds ago. Their fear “of this” burned its way through my soul. My heart already grinded to a halt. He thinks I want him dribbling between my legs now!??? There ain’t any heat left. There is no churning down there. I no longer want to “body meld” with him much less mind meld with him. The carnal ferocity is gone. But, I also don’t want to fight. So I let him timidly spread one of my legs halfway while he poinks and prodes around. When he is done drawing the alphabet I fake a moan and pull him back on top of me. And Every Time that asshole has the nerve to look like he just won the Kentucky Derby. Grinning like a fool who deserves an award.

Why is it they need that act, night and day but when we ask for reciprocation in the same way they act like we asked them to eat squid guts or something?

But we are not done yet. Now, I owe him.

Or at least he thinks so, remember, we never OWE anyone anything when it comes to our bodies.

Yeah, except he acts like I have to put-out now. And he wants it epic because he just spent a minute in hell for me. His poor tongue is going to be sore for a week because he had to spell the EnTirE alphabet. So, like the rockstar fuckster I am, I fake an enthusiastic rush of sexual chemistry, and using my five best techniques catered to his desires (that I learned the previous year listening to his body responses while I explored his body to find out what turns him on) I get him to cum in 10 seconds so I don’t have to deal with him on top of me anymore. He gets to have his “load blown coma” and I get to roll over to pretend I am asleep while I try not to cry.

I understand a little better why you’ve been divorced so many times…

That is how most of my relationship sex goes. That is why I prefer straight up “using” men. Skip all the effort, commitment, and devotion. Because, it isn’t going to be returned. It’s been “a one way street”. The most I get back from a man is two months of initial interest in pleasing me If he is a giver and most are not.

Girl, you gotta be looking for the 5% that are willing to push the right button for you. Instead of pushing your button and pissing you off.

There is a sweet spot when they get this light in their eyes after spending months trying to learn my body. Mind you only nine guys have prevailed. Twenty have “tried”. What is the definition of “trying”?

Never quite getting there.

A few guys will spend two months perfecting it. I can orgasm every time after that. Except they get bored.

What do you mean?

It turns into a fight every time after that, to get them to apply what they know from then on out. They just wanna slam, bam, thank you ma’am. They just lose interest in providing me my half of the sex. (Maybe it’s like they figured me out…saw me orgasm…saw me orgasm super hard for them…and now… it’s…so why can’t I just have that same orgasm with zero effort or application on their part?)

You really can’t find any of them that want to stick to it? What the hell is that?! In a relationship you should want to please your partner, you should want to bring them joy in the horizontal tango! There should never come a point where it becomes one-sided, that just isn’t right.

What is sex? It is a need. A desire. An urge that can sink you into depression or drive you to fleeting thoughts of rape if you are not getting sex. Rape is still common in some societies or in certain places like war zones, jail, and abusive relationships. Is rape sex? How can something so harmful be equated as sex while something as wonderful as “love during intercourse” can also be equated as sex?

Maybe it’s the romantic in me but I think there’s “layers” to it. There is:

SEX: purely about the explosion, no real emotions in it, this tends to be purely hormonal, and often alcohol or other substances get involved. This isn’t about making babies or bonding… it’s about bumping uglies.

MAKING LOVE: This is the good stuff, when it’s not just about getting yourself off …but it’s like giving each other the connection to your soul. It’s about feeling the emotions, it’s slow, fast, lingering, taking in everything about each other. You’re enjoying everything about it, or at least wanting to if you haven’t figured it all out yet, this is when you crave your partner, not just the feeling of sex or pleasure.

RAPE: I think we all know this a little. This is the lack of consent. This is anything forced, even kissing friends. Oral sex, hand jobs, penetration all of it. Even if you said “yes” but changed your mind it’s still rape and the person doing it is still the person in the wrong!!!

Coming of age. That period in life where you start exploring sex as a teenager. This is an easier time to define sex. And getting pregnant is on any parents mind in defining sex at that age. Anything shy of vaginal/penial penetration is just “a base”. Which is so strange because the non-penetration sessions are usually so much more enjoyable than penetrative sex.

Honestly, sometimes I’d rather kiss and paw than get to sex.

Virginal sex can be so bad. It’s awkward. You don’t know anything about bodies, likes or dislikes. A boy might be brave enough to ask “ah, do you like that”?

Ha! Ha! As a virgin, “I’m fresh and new at this”. I don’t know what my likes and dislikes are yet.

Then there’s new sex. New sex is also bad. Maybe you spent years with someone who knew your body so well and now you’re with some stranger and you have to start over. Maybe they have only had a few partners as well, and think all women are like the two they slept with.

What are you talking about? New sex is when it is fresh and you take your time getting to know someone. They explore your body for months getting to know you.

You clearly choose better men than I. I get a bunch of selfish nimrods who trample me like an elephant trying to claw their way out of a pool of rice.

What is your definition of sex? Do you have a partner that puts your needs first? Do you think the bases are just foreplay or better than the main event? Is new sex “the best” or the worst? Write to us on facebook, twitter, or Instagram.

• Let’s take a quick Commercial break, we will be right back. (wait 3 seconds) And we are back.

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**Resume Conversation “Is transactional sex, real sex?”
You can get pregnant, you can get std’s, and it’s sexual in nature despite being a transaction. But… it “isn’t sex” for many people. Especially to those that tune it out. Those that go through the motions thinking about how they need to stop at Target before the store closes. And the flip side of that argument…men complain about “dead fish” women lying there forcing the man to do his deed which makes him feel like shit inside.
The argument whether sex needs the brain involved is an interesting one for me. I would love there to be a distinction in terminology between “self serving gratificational friction” vs “sex”. Like, can we call it what it really is? Masterbation?
Did you have sex last night?
No, but, I let him masterbate himself inside me.
Sex as obligation would also fall under the Masterbation terminology, not what I would consider “real sex”:
Sex as gift to keep the peace, (birthday, anniversary, valentines day,
Gratification for men, duty for women.
Bro, happy birthday, you gonna get laid tonight by the missus?
Probably not, she’s just gonna lie there like a starfish while I hump on her. If I don’t she will start a fight about how I’m ruining my “birthday gift” from her.
Sex as Performance (she is too shy to enjoy it and is trying to impress him or keep him so she poses during sex and doesn’t get anything meaningful from it.
the Gratification is for men, the fake validation is for the woman
Sex as saving face, Like after homecoming game under the bleachers or after prom “we all feel like losers if we don’t do it”.
the Gratification is for who they are trying to impress its not for either the man or women having the masterbatorial intercourse
Sex to stave off loneliness or boredum,
Sex as curiousity. (freshly on scene learning the ropes) take a virgin or both virgins not engaging in long term relationship building. They just want to start having sex so they can be having sex.

In my mind, “Sex purely for an orgasm” also falls under this definition “Masterbation”

Maybe you have health reasons for needing an orgasm. You may need the physiological mechanisms of an orgasm to happen, having nothing to do with romance or true connection.

Sex for mental health regulation,

A good orgasm can reset my mental health, this is a real thing!!!
Sex as bowel regulation,
That is not a thing!

Yes it is. I can’t poop if I don’t orgasm a few times a week. I get so constipated. I start bloating up like a fart balloon that won’t stop. It’s physically painful for me. And sex doesn’t fix it. Orgasms do. The contractions from an orgasm either regulates my intestinal system or straight up pushes poop along the way. I have no idea which…

You are so disgusting. OMG

Hey! I didn’t choose this. It’s my stupid biology.

When does intercourse become sex and not masterbation?
The “lowest of low” baseline interactions would be strangers meeting off an app, giving each other an orgasm.

This would involve the man finding out what the woman needs to orgasm and achieving that with her. Even if both parties never see each other again that would be real sex in my mind.

And we as women fall for this shit time-and-time again thinking THAT is what will happen when we start swiping on hook up apps. Society marches on as if this is what is happening. But it is not. When I jump on a hook up app, I immediately get asked “what are you looking for?”. Before “hello”, before an invitation to coffee. Just, “what are you looking for?”…hmmmmmmmm, well, this app implies there are free orgasms for the taking? Yes? No? Yeah, for men. Not for the women.

It‘s an intimidation tactic. Dehumanizing. Cold. Mean. An appropriate introduction from sex addicts would be, “I don’t wish to waste your time, I am only looking for a quick orgasm for myself.” But it sounds like Rachel instead, You get assaulted with “what are you looking for?”, “Why are you on Tinder?”, and other coy tactics making you lead the conversation so they can morph into what you are looking for so they can slide in for a quick bang and ghost you.

The sentence: “I don’t want to waste your time, I’m looking for a hook up” is clear and to the point. When a man opens with this I don’t have to think about my response. I automatically unmatch. If he can’t take an hour to do the “drive to and from a Starbucks sit with you for 5 minutes so I can see his face in person and assess his personality” then You shouldn’t pretend he will try to give me an orgasm in the ten minutes he sets aside for me to drive over to give him a nut.

What is not happening in this baseline interaction?

The woman’s orgasm.

Why?

So many reasons why.

Something so simple as the term “hook up”. In a woman’s mind she envisions meeting a handsome hunk at a bar, party, or gathering and they hit it off which involves intense conversation, flirting, and hours of fun which lead to sex later that night or later that week.

What does the term Hook up Mean to men? In a man’s mind he envisions ordering the size, shape, and color of a woman off tinder for an anonymous 10 minute bang.

I only had one real FWB. He drove to me to hang out in my city. I drove to him to hang out in his city. We had dinner together. We watched tv. We talked for hours. We cared about each other’s “ups and downs” in life. We weren’t dating. We were actual friends with benefits. He had a plan. Fall in love, get married, have a baby. I was in menopause and my tubes were tied. We had no future together and kept each other company between “could be’s”. He was my only real FWB, that’s it, the rest of humanity were a variation of a fuck toy, liar, manipulator, or “John” pretending to want to be my sugar daddy.

We don’t shake hands or get to know each other anymore. Men whip out their penises and expect no holds bar servicing without reciprocation.

Not all men function that way, there are men who want to please their women and enjoy the reaction they get from their partner. Just because the losers you pick won’t do this for you doesn’t let you define the entire male population.

We defined sex. We defined masterbation. What are non consensual thoughts and touch that we define as perpetration, abuse, and violation?
Interactions that would fall under perpetration are
Transactional Sex:

Giving in to pressure that might not have turned into rape but has rapey undertones and has emotional pressure: (after a date and “he is staring at you like you need to pay for the food you ate”, hitch hiking and you realize the only reason they stopped to pick you up was so you could get them off, basically anytime a man does you a favor and expects an orgasm from it. It is worse when they or you are drunk or high, there is so much aggression, insistence, and entitlement behind their penises, [the sex is for men, the favor was for the woman])

I listened to a couple men describe loosing their virginity to a prostitute that was a gift for his coming of age), the only person getting gratification out of that was the dad. The two bodies engaging in the deed didn’t even want to be there.

I define “friends with benefits” or “hook up” interactions in general as perpetration because it usually involves lies from the guy to get a fast nut. She thinks she is going to have some good sex. Does she? Rarely. I hate those terms because who gets the benefit? 97% of the time it is the guy. Some dickwad having perpetration on a girl without fulfilling his half of the benefits and no intention of ever being her friend. When I hear the word “hook up” I envision some poor girl being hooked, drawn up out of the water, and thrown back after feeling violated. She usually feels exactly like the fish that get caught, have the hook ripped out of their little mouths gasping for water, and thrown back in.
Prostitution (on the street corner, craigslist, “massage girls or parlours”, bachelor parties, in a stripper joint, in a sex video store): Gratification for men, money for women.
Porn industry: Gratification for men, money for women.
Something I have never encountered…but TV and movies insist is real: the corporate world where men will use hot women to have sex with a client to seal a deal (does this really exist? Write us, and let us know). Gratification for men, money for women.
Slightly different than that is: Sex as coorporate climbing where she wants a raise or a higher pay grade position. Gratification for men, money for women.
(I am curious about the phrase. “Sex work is empowering for women”? Isn’t it just a quick way for quick money? How exactly is it empowering?)

I would rather live in a society that provides a living standard where no one has to sell sex to make rent money, food, or medical bills. If a woman thinks she can make good money selling her body… the society she lives in is male dominated so he can have readily available prostitutes. We should be able to make good money without selling our bodies. The poorest somebody should be is having all their needs met. Don’t get me started on private property, territory, government owned land, and the like.

Okay, back to our episode: perpetration, what is it?
Models and actresses being told they “have to” in order to get the next big gig: Gratification for men, money for women.
There is like a whole porn genre on this I am pretty sure, like wtf….
Sex as a reward (sports, corrporations are celebrating something big, there are prostitutes at the party) Gratification for men, money for women.

Is Rape sex? There was penetration and it was not consensual. That is why they call it rape. People who have been raped can’t heal or function normally if they associate the word “sex” in the future with the word “sex” that the rapist thinks happened during rape.

I don’t want what happened during my childhood to be considered sex. Boyfriends or even gossiping with girlfriends we all seem to want to know when someone started having sex. I say, I was 18. Because in my mind that is when I purposely started consenting to the act of sexual intercourse with full knowledge of what was happening in a societal context.

Even if you are not violently raped… if you have sex to keep from getting raped, like if you just give in and fake it, you are still being raped, if you know, by not giving in…you will be raped.

Sex out of entitilement such as rape, child molestation, pedophilia, anytime a model is on set…and a man thinks…”she is already doing this so I can have sex with her because its practically the same thing”. [the gratification is for Perpetrator, the abuse is for the abused whether it is a male or female, child or adult, of any gender]

Let’s get out of this dark side of the topic and bring it back up to the lighter side because this is bringing me way down.

“Sex for intimacy and bonding”

To me as a 48 year old adult having been married four times, raised a child, and not in the mood for selfish immature assholes…sex to me is “wanting to be intimate with someone that encompasses learning about each others likes and dislikes. Anything shy of that is masterbation or worse, perpetration. If they are not actively learning my likes and dislikes it is not sex.

What do you consider sex? If you go to a guys house for a hook up and he jizzes in you while you are still cold and dry, do you consider yourself having had sex? How many hook ups have you had “that were worth adding a notch to your bedpost”? Tell us about your “friends with benefits” with someone that is actually a friend and hangs out with you. What does that look like?. What do you do as friends? How often do you hang out? To steal a post on Reddit I want to ask “how would your ‘number of sexual partners’ change if you were not allowed to include anyone that did not make you orgasm”? Tell us about “that hook up” that was so good, you make the mistake of trying again over and over again just to keep getting losers. We have Tic Tok and Youtube.

• We are going to take a Commercial break, we will be right back. (wait 3 seconds) And we are back.

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***Close the conversation

Definitions of sex. What is sex? If you have three daughters. One is five,. Another, is nine,. The oldest is thirteen years old. You hear your five year old daughter say “a man has been touching her”. Is that sex?

Wait a minute. Your five year old daughter says what?

What circumstances with any of your daughters would constitute sex in your mind? “The younger a girl is” the more likely we are to call a sexual interaction…SEX. The older a woman is the less likely we are to call it sex and brush it off as “sexual”. Again, I ask you guys, what is sex? If you find out your four year old son was playing doctor with another four year old what would your reaction be? If it was a thirty year old? How does this change if the other is male vs female? As we spiral down this rabbit hole of sick and twisted “what ifs” I would like to argue that sex has nothing to do with a penis and a vagina and everything to do with intent. I would argue that if your intent is sexual in nature And let me Be Clear here, if you are Thinking a sexual thought towards someone while you are looking at them then that is sex. It certainly is sexual and the person being looked at can feel your intention. Which means anything sexual in nature that is nonconscentual is actually molestation or rape. So any of these scenarios I presented that we are defining as sexual are molestaion or rape.

Yes, it is possible some people misinterpret interactions. Sure. But there are far more interactions where one person is perpetrating and the other person has to learn “to brush it off”. And women learn this at a very young age. So what do we do about this? Separate men and women in society? Give in and let it be normal for thirteen year olds to get married to forty year olds? Do we already deal with it the best we can with our societal rules?

When we took courtship off the table we removed all need for depth. What is wrong with a man courting a woman to get her to become a FWB? Because a true FWB is an actual friend, which would require them to have been friends first and remain friends while they have sex sometimes. If they meet online they would hang out as friends in between fucking.

The tinder interactions I have had are men saying they want a FWB then use my hole for 10 minutes refusing to hang out with me, getting to know me, having zero interest in being my friend at all. I respect a profile that says “down to fuck”. Honesty allows a human to make informed decisions.

Without intimacy, passion, or known commitment levels, there is just someone nuttin and a female being his cum rag. Don’t perpetuate the downward spiral of human interaction. So many young women are depressed over today’s state of “dating”.

Grindr, scruff, and the hornet app should all be normalized. Let men use men as cum rags. There are so many straight men willing to help each other out, that I don’t even understand why they bother with women at all, for that quick nut. I know there will always be narcissists who need the power dynamic of controlling a woman. I am not talking about that. I mean, if we normalized men “getting each other off” every day then that energy would be focused on the correct gender. The gender who doesn’t mind that mentality.

I was married 4 times. During three of my marriages, I was down to fuck every night and morning. I got turned down so many times. My husband claimed to not be in the mood then go bust one out in the office. Why? Was it really too much for me to ask for an orgasm? Was I just married to a bunch of selfish lazy assholes? Was the 45 minutes of touch, love, reassurance, and orgasm I sought asking too much? Do men only have 45 minutes of energy in them for commingled sexual satisfaction once a week and need to bust one out quick the other 6 days a week on their own? Because I tested that theory on multiple occasions. I would say “honey can we have a quickie? I don’t need to orgasm but you can.” never got turned down for that! Not once. The anger and resentment that would build up inside me was insane.

The sex atmosphere from cloths, songs, advertizing, and hook up culture is so severe. It is impossible to get a boy to talk to you without realizing you are expected to “put out” for taking up his precious time.

I have been married and “done the 10 minute hook up with a stranger at the park in the back of their suv just to get that feeling of being alive” thing. Knowing something “wanted me” even if it was some loser “stuck in an equally shitty marriage”. There is always a time and place for self harm. And this kind of sex is a form of self harm as destructive as cutting, binge drinking, and poor budgeting. I understand there is a place for lackluster pointless unfeeling pound town. All I ask is you say that in your profile. Or say that as your first sentence after matching. I am tired of all the lies. Tricking “anything that is warm” into your cold dead hands turns all the good people into bitter bitches bent on treating all men the way you just treated her. You being a dick, and it ruins it for everyone.

Is the hookup culture destructive? To girls, men, marriages, and children? Should men be honest on Tinder? If they did would they get fast pussy? Do you know anyone who is down for that? Are men forced to lie on profiles in order to get fast sex?

Sex is more dangerous for women (we tend to go along with things we don’t want to do, we get raped more often then men, men are more willing to inflict violent sexual behavior on a partner by asking “in the moment” when she is most likely to respond “yes” out of shock, or he just does it without asking.) Men want to try the latest porn trend. Choking, butt plugs, spanking, bdsm, they want to have sex on drugs even drugs that make them limp like molly, they need that “phat ass” instead of loving a woman for who she is.

We are not allowed to just hang. EVERY SINGLE “HANGing out with a man” is an assumed hook-up. Will guys just hang out? How is that different when you’re married.

I hate men that match me purely for my blond hair, big boobs. Idolizing a package ignoring the content. I am not going to pretend my looks don’t matter. But when “I” don’t matter we have a problem. Too many men are only interested in my package. Zero interest in conversation, getting to know my history, family stories, future plans. Realizing he is dead inside “waiting for the pussy” is such an awkward depressing moment.

(matching with someone for their looks). They say we all do it. “They” are dead wrong. We don’t all do it. There is a difference between ~liking the package while wanting to get to know the person~ vs only liking the package while not giving a shit who is inside~. It is okay to insist on a nice package. We all want that. But when you actually don’t want to get to know the person…you are no better than a vibrator.

As in…no better. As in…A vibrator IS BETTER than you! (Both Laugh!!!LOL)

I think you are hanging out with the wrong men

Those men I am hanging out with that treat me like a warm hole make me want to kill all men and make earth a women’s planet. I can use science to turn women’s cells into sperm. Stem cells from almost any part of the body can be turned into germ cells.

Gametes, right?.

In vitro gametogenesis raises the possibility that babies could be made using muscle, liver, cheek, bone, or blood cells. In 2018 it was successfully done in mice. In vitro gametogenesis works like this: Cells from almost any tissue or organ are reverse engineered into becoming induced pluripotent stem cells. These cells, which can develop into any kind of human cell, are then nudged to become egg or sperm cells.

If this is true for women then this is true for men as well. So, men don’t need our eggs. Just our wombs. Maybe in ten years when the technology has been fully developed, they won’t need us to breed? He could have his cells induced to create an egg, fertilize it with his own (or a partner’s sperm) and use an artificial womb to grow his child.

Yeah, they still need us for that. If an animal uterus delivered the correct nutrients, hormonal stimulation, and its immune system didn’t attack the fetus due to incompatibility, maybe they could use an animal to gestate their offspring.
The DNA of either doesn’t matter. Embryo cells don’t mix with host cells. So that is not an issue. The host DNA will be animal and the human fetus DNA will remain human. They don’t mix…but hormonal stimulation from the host is essential. Research has shown hormonal stimulation can easily affect abnormal brain growth. It’s a chemical experiment that needs exact ingredients and timing.
Thyroid hormones in the first trimester are crucial. Hypothyroxinemia in the first trimester causes language and nonverbal cognitive delays in offspring. Glucocorticoids need to be exact as well. An animal that mimics our hormonal stimulation during gestation probably doesn’t exist.
The nutrient combinations matter as well. An ape’s womb supplies nutrients to create small muscle/ bone dense creatures with less fat. The nutrients the host is providing could inadvertently starve an embryo. The human fetus will act like alien cancer cells to the animal’s immune system. It would likely attack the embryo. Especially since a uterus is sensitive to embryonal defects. If the embryo does not look and act like a healthy organism, the uterus will kill and remove the embryo. Finally, when the embryo develops white blood cells they would attack the host. But we are making progress creating artificial uterine environments.
Babies have been born using mitochondrial replacement techniques, often known as three-parent babies. Mitochondrial replacement techniques provide women with mitochondrial defects a chance to have normal biological children. The mitochondrial donation technique provides women a chance to have unaffected children. The nuclear genome can be transferred from a donor’s oocytes or zygotes using pronuclear transfer, spindle transfer, polar body transfer, or germinal vesicle transfer.

The possibilities range from a single parent breeding with itself, to a couple breeding, to three people using their biology to create a healthy offspring. Gotta love science.

What is Sex? when we live in an age where men and women don’t need each other to breed because we control the technology to artificially create the future population?

Well Rachel, just because you don’t have positive experiences with men doesn’t mean the rest of us don’t need our men.

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I would like to introduce next week’s episode. Episode 17: When Liars Speak. Can intention be carried in the vibrational energy of voice, body language, actions, inaction, eye contact, and touch? How many “white lies” does it take for someone to lose their ability to trust their gut? When we tell those “white lies” to our children, do they grow up with a compass that doesn’t work?

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