Ep 13: Let’s Get Married Kids!

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All I have to do is knock up a 12 year old in Mississippi and I got me a child bride.

Are you talking about the research done by. Oh, what the hell? There’s no research on that, Rachel. What on earth are you talking about?

Music Intro

Hey, everyone. My name is Kayla.

And my name is Rachel. Thank you so much for joining us.

I am talking about the fact that California has no minimum age for marriage. Neither does Mississippi. I am talking about the fact that you can legally marry a 12 year old in Massachusetts, a 13 year old in New Hampshire. All you have to do is get them pregnant.

Why are you bringing up outdated laws? Those were true 30 or 40 years ago. Not today.

You would think, wouldn’t you? But no. This is our trigger warning. Today’s episode talks about pedophilia, getting children pregnant and not in Saudi Arabia, but here in the United States of America. If you have a problem with these topics, please turn this podcast off, skip it, go to our next episode, which is a lot happier.

Let’s get into it.

First, we will discuss pedophilia inside the United States. We think child brides are a them problem when it really is an US problem.

Pedophiles and child molesters. What is the difference? This podcast episode contains triggers. We recommend most people turn it off and not listen. Rachel has been molested and we will be making crude, rude jokes about minors being sexualized. We do this to ease her pain and to bring light to the actualities of abuse and to laugh in the faces of the abusers, letting them know that they are truly fucked up individuals. And she survived it to make a change in this world to stop people like that.

Pedophiles are sexually attracted to children under the age of 13. Pedophiles tend to be attracted to specific ages. Pedophiles abuse, prepubescent family members or non-family members for sexual gratification. Offenders may have hundreds of victims over the course of their lifetime.

Pedophiles repeat offender after incarceration or treatment. Pedophiles may be uncomfortable with adult intimacy.
The reason we confuse child molesters with pedophiles is the terminology used on today’s episode. I will attempt to refer to a child molester as a minor molester. Minor molesters. Sexual orientation is other adults but will molest a minor to meet emotional needs or because a minor was there when they happen to be horny, the.

Guys who will fuck anything.

The guys who will fuck anything. I really want to test these people for their latent asymptomatic STDs to get the data on that shit. I am dying of curiosity.

A minor molester has lower numbers of victims and may not repeat offender after incarceration.
A minor molester turns to a minor when an adult partner is lacking, hostile or rejecting poor self-esteem is present. Extreme loneliness is a factor. These offenders have dysfunctional relationships with peers. They might even be married. Sex doesn’t have to be the goal. Each molestation is dependent on the circumstances surrounding the event. Molestation is making unwanted advances towards someone, even something as simple as lust in your eyes while they walk by.

Really lust in their eyes. That is molestation.

I’ve been molested so many times. I hate it when men leer at me. I wish they would all go fuck off unless I’m in a place meant for it like a bar. I grew up in the eighties and it was common knowledge that she wanted it unless she was yelling, Stop in your face. I literally heard so many men say, Well, she didn’t ask me to stop. And that is something that kids will not do. They’re not going to ask you to stop. Hell, half my adult friends don’t know how to say stop when a man just takes and takes and takes without reading the mood.

What about when a minor instigates it?

So many teenagers are eager for exploration and are capable of simultaneously feeling molested if the adult gives in to that temptation. Just because a minor is flirting with you doesn’t give you the free abuse card. The factors in each situation still calls for you to be the adult. If she’s trying to impress her friends, she’s still a minor. If she’s rebelling against her parents, she’s still a minor. If she lost her virginity at 13 and had sex with a dozen men already, she’s still a minor. If she is an underage prostitute, she is still a minor if she is trying to drown out earlier rapes or molestations by instigating sex. Sexual contact on her own. She is still a minor and it is your responsibility to say no.

This is a dating podcast. So you’re telling our audience what date?

Fellow adults.

Don’t look at Minors no matter how flaunting they are or how persistent they are.

Sounds like you experienced something.

Yeah. When I was 19, I was Hound Dog by a 16 year old minor. He was so persistent. I felt like shit the entire time we dated my guts, like, wrenched from it. I still feel bad about it.

So then why did you do it?

I don’t know. I had self-esteem issues. It was difficult for me to say no. He was so sweet. I felt bad saying no. I felt worse dating him. It was weird. It was traumatic for me and I was the adult. The irony of it was I was so abused as a child and here was this minor begging for me to date him, molest him. The whole thing brought up the childhood incest neighborhood thing again inside my head that I think I had shut down and I just went along with what was happening. I know I didn’t want to think about it and I didn’t want to hurt anyone. But once again, I was in a position of wondering what would cause the most damage. Giving in or saying no.

I’m looking at some of these research articles that you pulled up and it talks about how tell Ophelia is a sexual preference for adults. Ms.. Ophelia is a sexual preference for middle aged adults in Toronto. Ophelia is a sexual preference for the elderly.

Is pedophile DNA passed down? Is it nurture or nature? In the future, genetic research on pedophilia may influence the justice system, as well as shed light on how to prevent sexual predation in the future. For now, there are only about 18 papers done on the genetics of pedophilia. It looks like it runs in families. But why? Pedophiles confess that they have relatives that are also pedophiles or have shown traits of it. But why is it passed down through tradition? Is it something we learn? Is it passed on genetically?

There have been genes found that could be attributed to pedophilia, but that needs to be approached cautiously until we understand the role of genes better and their influence on personality and behavior.

My dad is a pedophile. My brother is a pedophile. I know that this runs in the family, but I don’t know why.

Can it be passed down to females genetically or through trauma? Do women have pedophilia genes and resist the urge easier due to oxytocin and the need to nurture versus prey on children? There are female pedophiles and they are rare. Would that make finding the genes involved easier if we focused on female pedophiles?

When I was in second grade, I had a crush on my teacher who happened to be female. That doesn’t mean that she should be allowed relations with me. I had a crush on a third grade boy. I wanted to hold his hand and kiss him. I pursued him. That doesn’t mean I actually wanted to throw him down and have sexual intercourse with him or to have his baby right then and there. I’ve been around plenty of little girls that love their dads so much they want to marry them when they grow up. They practice flirting with their dads. That doesn’t mean they actually want to have intercourse with them right then and there. They’re kids. They’re playing. They’re being flirty. Whether it’s with their dads, older boys, kids, their age, it doesn’t mean they want to be pregnant and married at ten years old. What

grown man mistakes this as consent?

We are about to dove into data about ten year old girls getting pregnant, then married to men over the age of 20. There is no reason a man over 20 should be banging a girl in the third grade. If we have any male listeners currently contemplating dating a third grader, please don’t. Just don’t.

I was reading an Arab newspaper online.

Why are you reading something from Saudi?

I was looking for information on all of the child brides in Saudi.

Okay. But they don’t have all the child brides the U.S. does.

No, we don’t. I specifically remember growing up hearing about all of the child brides in Saudi. And I know that country is filled with 60 year old men marrying six year old little girls.

Your friend was born and raised there, and I know she left when she was 18, but has she ever said anything about that happening once? I mean, pray tell. What did this Arab newspaper talk about?

The article was covering the United States of America in Our Child Brides. 200,000 children have been married in the USA in the last 15 years, three of whom were only ten years old in Tennessee. Into the. In one, two men that were 24, 25 and 31.

That is the most messed up thing I have ever heard. How is that even legal.

Parental consent and pregnancy? Hmm.

Methinks the United States doth protest too much.

Yeah. It would seem like a cheating boyfriend. America projects are bad behavior under other countries to vilify them.

This article points out an 11 year old boy in Tennessee marrying a 27 year old woman in 2006. I would say a lot of children getting married, but ten states did not provide statistical information. The government and individual states say it would conflict with religious customs to deny these situations the ability to marry.

More than a thousand children under 14 were granted marriage licenses. 11 states granted licenses to 13 year olds. Alaska, Louisiana, South Carolina granted 12 year olds. The age range of spouses to these particular thousand children are 18 to 29, except for the 14 year old girl who when the 74 year old man in Alabama blew it.

This article goes on to say Evidence indicates wealthy girls in cities don’t get married like this. Just girls in rural poverty, which I can admit in rural poverty areas in Saudi, there are rare circumstances a child will marry an older man. It seems there are over 100 countries where this happens and it also seems it is not the norm. Why does an Arab newspaper have to cover this for you to know what happens in the U.S.?

We do cover this kind of news in the United States between 2012 and 2016, some of the marriages that were happening in Florida were to 13, 14 and 15 year olds. A 14 and 15 year old married each other. A man over 90 married a 16 year old girl.

You’re telling me someone asked a 13 year old if she wanted to get married?

There is no way in hell. Some gentle, kind person approached this child and delicately with care and patience, went through this child’s options, or offered her other options that she actually wanted. These children are not being offered real help. They’re probably being told kill the fetus, give up the baby, or marry the guy who knocked you up at that age with those choices. I would marry as well. Today, a judge can grant a marriage license to a pregnant girl of any age in Florida.

California and Mississippi will approve marriage at any age if she is pregnant.

When I was 13, my mom let me go to Texas with some friends. They were the most nurturing, supportive parental figures I have ever had in my life. But I could easily have gotten pregnant just from running around the way I was down there. I remember being 13. I don’t care how mature a 13 year old is, she should not be allowed to get married, much less a ten year old.

I guess it’s all about who you can get pregnant and what judge you are friends with. And you know, it helps if you can find a family too ashamed to help their 12 year old out when they need you most.

Life is pretty good when you can rape a ten year old into being your baby mama.
Seriously, what the fuck? Why aren’t you embarrassed to talk about this stuff?

Silence is deadly. Shame. Fear. Blame. Have no place in these situations that require actual help, options and support.

A lot of these places that this happens are very conservative. Some places in the States are so filled with sex positivity. We’re talking about sexuality with kids as young as first grade. You’re seeing it on the media. Everything’s about the girl with the big boobs. She’s the pretty one. We’re living in a culture now versus when I was young that, oh yeah, put your little girl in a bikini or a letter where the little itty bitty booty shorts. If a man looks at her wrong, it’s his fault, not hers. Which is different. Even in the nineties when I grew up, my boys, I’m still trying to find what balance I’m going to have with them. I mean, granted, they’re pretty little at this point. It’s no longer the mindset of, Oh, teach your kids their little wee wee or their little lady bits. No, it’s
teach your kid to say penis and testicles, which is the weirdest thing to hear out of a three year old’s mouth. Just saying kids are talking about it. I couldn’t believe hearing my nieces when they were 13 years old talking about sexuality. Do you realize how many people are comfortable with talking about things like masturbation now? Oh my god. It was embarrassing to talk about my period at 13 and now there’s young kids talking about all kinds of sexuality. I’m not comfortable with the fact that my niece knew to giggle at backdoor friends.

Yeah, the whole masturbation thing makes me really uncomfortable. My last boyfriend asked me how. How often I masturbate. Granted, he was trying to get to know my sexuality in a positive way. I had to explain to him as a female my frame of mind. My thoughts are what make masturbation possible. Males can whip out their thing and 3 seconds later, splatter on the wall for me. For a girl, my brain has an autopilot for sex. That brings up sexual situations that I’ve been in. That one shot learning I spoke about in a previous episode. Whatever turned me on in the past, my mind goes right to when I’m horny. I was sexually abused at a very young age. Incest was my introduction to sex. I was taught that it was normal. So for years I thought it was normal, which means I liked it. That is what my mind goes to for autopilot. Not exactly what adult me wants to think about ever finding out incest was the lowliest scum white trash nasty on the entire planet beneath all other nasties kind of ruined. Any chance at masturbation for me?
Our inner sexuality is constructed by our first introduction or our first encounter with sex when some gross old person shoves their sexuality on us. When we are just children, they destroy our lives, our sex lives and any possibility to form a natural, sweet first sexual encounter with a boy we like. They construct the neurons in our brains around that first sexual encounter, instead of letting us construct that with our peers on our terms when the time is right for us.

The few times that I did try to masturbate, I tried to think about something that turns me on, which means I have to think about people that turn me on, sexual situations that turn me on, which involve people doing sexual things as an adult in current neuron standing. That would be my boyfriend.

But why masturbate to him if I can go out to his house and have sex?

I’m not going to think about what my autopilot wants me to think about. I’m not going to think about an ex I broke up with because I don’t want to be with them anymore. Why would I masturbate to that? I can’t think about future boyfriends because I haven’t met them yet and I don’t know who they are, what they look like, or how they act. The entire process is not worth the trauma. It’s too post-traumatic stress disorder for me. And yeah, I’m just going to go visit my boyfriend and get the happy on. I’m not going to lie in bed and do that to a piece of plastic.

You should just get over your past abuse and masturbate every day with joyous abandonment.

That’s what they tell me.

Okay. AUDIENCE So we have to ask, have you ever been molested? How old were you? When did you first feel violated? Whether it was a comment made by someone passing in a car while you’re riding a bike as a kid, an inappropriate touch or straight up molestation or rape. I am also interested in the last time or most recent that you felt someone said or did something inappropriate that made you feel uncomfortable.
I am 48 and every time I open Tinder, I feel assaulted by the nasty things men say to me right out of the opening gate. You think it would be. Hi. Hello? No, it’s nice ass. Nice tits. Bend over and a photo for me.

I understand it’s supposed to be a hookup app. When did asshole behavior take over? Being gentlemanly you haven’t met. You literally just swiped on the person’s photo 2 seconds ago. You feel like leading with nice ass. My immediate thought would be Fuck off asshole. Even if you are hot and I swipe right with the thoughts of being in you, Tinder.

Should have a profile button option that lets users see bacteria, parasite or virus contained within seeking a new host or let’s swap HPV strains.

You’re talking about the episode Sex Zombie again, aren’t you?

My favorites. There are 30 to 40 strains of asymptomatic HPV men on Tinder, all seeking new hosts. Their conversation starters are a little telling. It’s all that comes to mind when you will stick your thing in anything. Ask them to coffee. They unmatched you. They won’t shake your hand, but they’ll stick their neck out for a quickie. Are they incapable of a conversation? Or maybe it’s true what they say about Tinder. If a man has a profile there, he’s cheating on somebody. Do you know anyone that got pregnant or married under the age of 15? Did you know that it’s legal in a state that you currently reside? After listening to this episode, are you going to do anything about it? I would love a conversation to happen on our Facebook, Twitter or Instagram of people willing to start something. I mean, let’s fix this.

Isn’t that what we, the people do? We’re going to take a quick commercial break. We’re going to be right back. And we’re back.

Before we resume our conversation by looking inside the assailants mind. I want to play the what if game and ask a bunch of questions that have been bothering me. What exactly does it look like inside the mind of a pedophile? Does it destroy their relationships? Can they be honest with their partners about their urges? Or do they have to hide struggling alone their entire lives?
So I’m going to go out on a limb here and say, yes, it destroys their relationships. It broke up my parents marriage, despite both of them being pedophiles of a different nature. Some pedophiles prefer immediate family. Others take it outside of the family.

Is it really pedophilia at that point? I mean, isn’t that just incest?

If incest is directed at a child, then it would be both incest and pedophilia. I’m confident incest is not pedophilia. My dad is incestuous. So as an adult, he can have sex with his adult sister. That doesn’t make it pedophilia. My dad’s a pedophile. His preference age is 13 or younger.

Incest is being attracted to a relative to adults. Could be incestuous and have zero attraction to children.

I have met two couples in my life who were full grown, consenting adults. They lived with each other as man and wife and had been doing it for many years. Both couples were related enough to have been denied a marriage license. None of these people were pedophiles. Both couples were super sweet, shy. These were great people. One couple hid the fact that they were so closely related and they were avoiding the shame that came from letting people know. I only found out because we were discussing things like this and I was super open about my past. They felt comfortable discussing their situation. The other couple were over 50 years old. They were open about it. They would have random conversations about it. They talked about it like it was normal. As you’re putting two and two together, like you’re looking at him like all weirdly
quizzical, like they didn’t care. They just wave to decide, laughing they would pull up, admitted they were closely related. Dating give a shit about it. Zero embarrassment. Zero apology. They went so far as to admonish anyone who tried to condemn them by pointing out that they were too old to breed. So how was it a problem? As in, it was only a problem if they tried to have kids.

Are there pedophiles who would never touch their own child? If so, is that genetically specific or are they just familial, territorially protective?

Are there pedophiles that only touch their own relatives? The whole keep it in your family joke.

We already discussed pedophilia being genetic. So I want to know, is incest genetically passed down?

Is incest a comorbidity that just happens to complement pedophilia for some abusers?

If you are attracted to adults and children, does that really make you a pedophile or are you just an entitled asshole nurturing your sick, twisted perversion to get a happy slappy jack off?

Can an adult not be a pedophile by nature, but be nurturing whatever new sick porn stimulation they’re feeding for that new jack off? Hi.

Can you nurture your own predilection towards children without the genetic predisposition and not having any relatives that were pedophilic?

Has pedophilic attractions ever helped someone in their relationship? What about fantasies or role play? If someone like me who tends to see myself getting molested in my mind while I have sex with my boyfriend, would I be happier in a relationship with a pedophile who refuses their urges and plays along with me and what it takes to give me an orgasm? Is sex difficult for you? And would dating a pedophile make sex better or traumatic? If you found out what turned them on and wanted to date you because you had been previously molested.

I have a relative who was molested by their parent. It was a parent who had a lot of other mental health issues. Some of the family even denied it for a long time. They ended up getting adopted outside of the family. I just couldn’t believe when they finally told me about it, it was really hard to hear. It was a family member I hadn’t known while, and when I finally got the opportunity to learn about them and get to know them, it made me realize that I didn’t actually want to meet them anymore because they had no problem molesting their own child at ten, 11, 12 years old, shamelessly, sometimes in their backyard, with that mindset of, Ooh, it’s more fun because we almost got caught. That’s just horrifying to me. And I know it’s affected her whole life. It’s actually pretty horrifying.

Why does pedophilia exist? What evolutionary role does it play? What are the advantages to its existence? How should we deal with it as a society if we find out there are genes that play a role? Should we separate non genetically pedophilia children born into a family like that? No. They will learn it growing up. And would we leave genetically inherited pedophile children with their parents so they can better learn how to fit into society? Refusing their genetic urges can CRISPR delete these genes in adults? If an adult knows they are a pedophile, can they safely have their embryos on pedophilia? We edited without repercussion to being a pedophile themselves who resists those urges or would asking for that edit in your embryo land you in jail as a pedophile?

If you thought you were a pedophile and sought out CRISPR editing for your genes, how would you react if the doctor told you there was no gene in your DNA and you were just a pervert who accidentally nurtured your own shock given desire for kids after accidentally stumbling across a particular pornhub video?

Isn’t that alone enough reason to outlaw child porn themed media?

Let’s move on past this morbid rapid fire questioning. We will never get answers to the most unique perspective that got my attention and research was conducted by Blanchard, Freund and Lawrence. This research dove deep inside those sexually aroused by the idea or fantasy of being the individuals to whom they are sexually attracted to. An online survey of 175 men sexually attracted to children was conducted around pedophilia or sexual arousal. By the idea of being the child they were sexually attracted to was common.

It’s believed adults have external erotic targets.

This study looked to find perpetrators with an internal erotic target an adult who is sexually aroused by the idea or fantasy of being the erotic targeted child. People who target what they like to imagine themselves as audience.

Is this a unique finding, or is it common to imagine yourself being the person you are attracted to? In other words, women? Do you fantasize or pretend you are a man penetrating your self while you have sex with your male partner? Yeah, I’m confusing myself as I’m asking these questions. It’s a maze of complication. Men. Do you imagine yourself, the woman being penetrated by you as you engage in intercourse with your partner? Do I imagine I am my boyfriend penetrating me while I have sex with my boyfriend? I can honestly say that I do. I have zero desire to be a boy. I have zero desire to penetrate my boyfriend. I do, however, imagine what my boyfriend is feeling or thinking as he is penetrating me. I don’t know if I got that right or if I just confused myself and twisted away from what

the researchers were seeking. If you study out of pedophilia, can you tell me if I got that right? Am I an auto? Andrew Ophelia if during sex I pretend that I am my boyfriend doing me.

I’m trying to wrap my head around that one. It’s a bit dizzying. What I want to know, is there a pedophilia gene? Is it normal to be attracted to anything alive? How many guys got a boner looking at someone walking with long hair and then realized it was another dude? Did you die inside? Are we geared internally to seek out the youngest to bear our seed? Do all men crave female flesh of any age and most just hide and lie about the craving? How many fantasize? Look at social media or videos, but know better than to ever approach a living younger human. Given today’s society.

What is happening when perpetrators cross the line? Can they stop themselves? Do they feel entitled? Are they just more arrogant and selfish than other men? Are they nurturing neuronal pathways capable of change? Are they acting on childhood memories of their own abuse?

The modern human came from breeding two species. Do some men harbor traits from a species? Not all men inherited nature or nurture. We hear about family trees passing down symptoms. We know STDs can be asymptomatic and passed during birth. If it’s not in the DNA, is it bacterial or a virus? Should we bother talking about the cases of children molesting children? A third of the cases are just that.

While I raised my son a neighbor, kids started things that I told the mother to stop. She and several other parents ridiculed my helicopter nest by telling me the kids were just experimenting. I had to move out of the neighborhood. They had no intention of making their kids feel bad or stopping them from experimenting on my child. Ironically, the opposite of my childhood when my siblings and I molested the neighborhood kids and we got serious backlash from all of that. And it still traumatizes me today. Back then I was the deviant. Now I am the prude. I just kick. Get it right.

Who is perpetrating? Male family friends were the most frequent abusers. Father was the next most frequent response, followed by uncle, brother and stepfather. Mother, of course, formed a small group of identified perpetrators.

The research on why adults assault minors is lacking at best. What does exist panders us to believe. Left handed and short people tend to be more likely biomarkers to predict. Why is a joke so far? I went to Reddit, my source for all things put bluntly, by actual doers. There is a subreddit for anything and if you read enough posts and comments you can filter out the hotheads lies attention seekers and find actual honest individuals wanting to pass on valid information. This is what I found.

A pedophile admits to the age he is attracted to.

I’m not attracted to everyone who is right. I have a range of attraction. Four years old to 50, and I have known this since I was 13.

A self-identified pedophile gives advice to parents.

Teach them early. They have a right to personal security. Children are taught to obey unquestioningly, and I think that’s a problem. Teach them no one is above reproach. Help them to become active participants rather than passive observers, he answered.

What attracts him to a child?

It’s different child to child. A look about them. Mannerisms, personality. Well, for me, it’s not just a sexual attraction. I’m also attracted to childlike personalities and innocence. Children don’t have emotional baggage. They are manipulative in the same way adults are. They don’t say one thing and mean another. I would describe it as an intense love or attraction to young boys. I know it’s not normal, and many would argue that it’s not love, but that’s the only way I can describe it. I like to see them laugh. I hate to see them hurt. I would do anything for them.

He answers why he is a pedophile.

I don’t think it was a totally normal course of nature. I think sexuality is affected by environment more than people realize. My childhood was totally normal. I wasn’t molested at all and had very little exposure to anything sexual until I was 13. More than half of the pedophiles I have talked to were not molested. That and many people who were molested do not grow up to become pedophiles. I do not think that there’s any causation there.

A partygoer had this encounter.

I’ll never admit I know your age if anyone asks, but how old are you?

Is there an attraction to the actual age or the look of innocence?

His answer was, I’m attracted to people independently of age, not due to age. I don’t have an age fetish.

Age fetish is a real thing, just another psychological deviancy we can give people as we raise them.

There’s definitely a difference between a pedophile and somebody who has an age fetish. I’ve never met someone with an age fetish, but I do have friends who have. And of course, we read about these things in social media. A guy thinks you’re too old. Even though he was attracted to you. He came up to you. He started talking to you. He didn’t become unattractive you until he found out how old you were. That’s an age fetish. And because it’s an age thing, I mean, he might end up with someone who looks older due to smoking, though they’re younger. We all age differently. We all know the 50 year old who looks like a 40 year old. And we all know the 30 year old who looks 40. Age fetish, yes. But to a certain degree, it still has to do with the looks, right? If

you have an age fetish, you have to write in and explain this to me because I’m dying of curiosity. Please fill me in.

One commenter wrote in.

In our country, there was an experimental kindergarden where they did not stop sexual interaction between kids and they even encouraged it. Do you think our society treats sex wrong? Do you think kids have sexual interest and wishes to? Do you think our children are too much protected when it comes to sex? Do you think there could be children enjoying it if they were allowed to?

That’s a really hard conversation, I think, honestly, because I think to a degree, kids have slight sexual urges, right. Like little boys will reach down and play with their penis. But the question is, is it sexual or is it just because they like the sensation or are exploring their bodies? That’s a huge thing. I don’t think kids seek out sex. I don’t think a four year old’s like, I want a penis in my vagina today. But I think they have that interest in exploring their bodies and discovering that their body is different from their friends and things like that. I know my son noticed when his best friend was getting a diaper change at our house and his friend’s penis looks different than mine because one of them is circumcised and the other is not. I think it might be more that they’re interested in

their own. And figuring them out the sexuality. Are you someone who has an age fetish? Do you only date people who are younger or older than you by a certain age gap?
Do you know an actual pedophile? Have you seen people molesting children and didn’t have the courage to stand up and stop them or turn them in because nothing ever happens or they’re related to you? And people are like, Just look the other way. How do you deal with this or did you deal with this if it is something real in your world? Okay.

We’re going to take a commercial break and we will be right back. And we’re back. Let’s wrap this conversation up and let’s talk about why our society needs to find a way to end pedophilia and child molestation.

Sexual abuse of minors is destructive for minor development. Generations of my friends and family were sexually abused. In the end, not one person enjoyed it. And yet, if a friend or relative or someone we admire is molesting us, we may enjoy it, especially if we are too young to understand the dynamics of what is happening. I myself enjoyed the sexual stimulation as I was learning and doing it as a seven year old child. It was a positive, happy atmosphere. Ironically, that is the hugest source of my pain learning, enjoying, finding out that I’m the sickest, fucked up person on the planet, hating myself and not being able to enjoy any form of sex for the next 20 years. While I process this abuse that I received and delivered, not something I would wish on anyone. I did confront my father as an adult about his

pedophilia. He admitted to molesting my babysitters, my aunts, his whole face lit up just remembering it. Just being able to talk about it was a source of pleasure for him. It made me sick to my stomach. It also made me feel like I knew him a little better. Also made me want to kill him like so many emotions. But he’s my dad and I love my dad. Why didn’t he get turned in? It’s a family thing. You don’t turn your family in. It’s unspoken. And then there’s the belief. I believe my brother molested a bunch of little girls in the ballet studio that I grew up in. The way he would sit them on his lap, the way his hands were hidden under their dresses, the way he was bouncing them. Maybe I’m paranoid. Maybe I’m making it up. Maybe I see pedophilia everywhere I

look. Maybe this brother who started having sex with a 13 year old, got her pregnant, knocked her up, still hasn’t married her. Maybe he’s a pedophile. And that pedophile means fucking a 13 year old when you’re an adult. Maybe he was abusing these little kids. I did bring it up. I brought it up to the ballet teacher. I said, my brother is molesting these children right here in your studio. Look over there. He’s doing it right now. I was the bad guy. I was the asshole. I was trying to pick fights, make bad stuff happen. It was all me. I was the horrible person. That’s another reason why people don’t bring it up. That’s another reason why people don’t get turned in because often times the person who’s seeing it is the person who gets in trouble.
Why can’t we take a minute and trust, especially with kids?

How hard would it be to walk across the room, pick the little girl up off his.
Lap if he’s pointing, if you know what I mean. Thank you. If you are listening and you have molested or want to molest a minor, no matter how much they seem to enjoy it, eventually they will figure out what is going on and you will be the monster you are in their eyes. If you think you can go along with the natural urges of a minor and make it a good thing, you are wrong. They suffer the rest of their lives. It damages every aspect of their souls. Every minor wants attention, love and safety. Be a safe person and not a predator.

Kayla, do you ever think the world is going to rid itself of pedophilia and child molestation?

I wish it would. I don’t know if we could ever get rid of it. I think there will always be those people out there who are okay with making those choices. I just don’t think that it will ever completely go away.

I think a transition would be tough. It’s so pervasive. The books, the media, the porno videos, the comic books, the clothes we sell in Target, the songs it’s fucking everywhere. There are generations of men that think it’s a sign of affection to pat a woman on her ass. They think it’s enduring.

No, I’m sorry. If you smack my ass and we’re not in a relationship, I’m going to turn around and hit you in the face. It’s not enduring. It’s not cute. It’s not funny or sweet. Knock. Get the fuck off. Do not touch people without their permission. I’m sorry. Not sorry.

A world without sexual predation. Can you even imagine what would have to happen? We would have to start by respecting children’s bodies when they don’t want to hug you or kiss you. Adults would need to respect that. In a way we have that in schools. Teachers are not allowed to touch children, but I personally believe we took that too far. If a student wants to hug, they’re not allowed to at school, not even with other kids. The security for a child’s body at school seems to have been taken to the opposite extreme. It’s like there are so many people that literally don’t understand the difference between consent, need for reassurance, a hug for amazing work done with a child that wants that recognition. A hug. We obliterate all human contact. Which can also be damaging in its own way. Human understanding of consent seems to

vary greatly. If we eradicate all predation, including adult men, making adult women feel uncomfortable when we live in a world where men no longer leer at women, women will need to step up their game to signal consent. There is no clear signal in subtle.

The world of consent is a little bit crazy. I just got to say, there are now parents who ask for consent to change their child’s diaper. I get your mindset instead. Say, Okay, kiddo, you got a dirty diaper. We’ve got to change it.

If this world were to come about, teenage girls would be forced to practice flirting with boys their own age. And we know how well that goes.

Oh, God. Boys that young are oblivious.

No wonder they practice on older men and their definition thereof.

Do you know how many girls my husband has told me about after high school that he found out were flirting with them and had crushes? Their friends will be like Suzie Q wanted to date you, but you never caught on. And he was like, Well, there’s a reason why I was so obvious with you, because the first couple of times I tried to flirt, you stared at me like I had a third eye growing out of my forehead.

Even Sugar Daddy and Sugar Baby relationships would have to respect the no predation rules. When a sugar baby agrees to the amount of time, affection and level of intimacy, the man will have to respect those boundaries. Only two of my sugar daddies ever respected my boundaries. The rest they push. They nudge. They suggest they threaten. They demean, they bully, they tease. They hinted that I should double what I was giving with zero belief that they should double what they were giving. Sometimes the very next day after we made the arrangement and they all used the same tactics. But I’m just so infatuated with you. I just can’t get enough of you. We’re in the honeymoon phase. Why can’t we meet twice a week for now while we get to know each other? Because I don’t want to, you fucktard. I just want your money. What
the fuck? How are you having a hard time with this? No.

Your place dude doubled the arrangement during the honeymoon phase. I’m so down for you.

Me? Do it. But as soon as I suggest that I’m making it transactional.

Sugaring is literally a transactional agreement. She is there for one reason. He is there for one reason. Yes, there is more intimacy, affection, and it is longer term than other transactions. That is why sugaring is so nice. One guy, one girl. Long term arrangement. It would never happen without the transaction. Like, come on. You really think that 20 year old you paid to act like she is in love with you is, you know, actually in love with a 50 or nine year old? And if she did fall in love with you, stop trying to take advantage of that by dropping the transaction. Shit, triple that up.

I am always interested in increasing an arrangement. It just takes a discussion about the arrangement. Too many men think it’s okay to make me change my end of the agreement without changing their end to meet my desires.

How many pretend that they are in love with you to get you to become their real girlfriend?

All of them. Or most of them at some point. It’s really unpleasant.
It creeps me out. How many old men want an 18 year old and they want real chemistry? If you believe that your sugar baby actually enjoys being with you, you should thank the gods that you found. Someone who can forget that. Well, and the better they fake it, the more you should appreciate that.

I want to go over some of my unpublished memoirs.

Is that a hint to any of our publishers out there?

Why, yes, it is. I wrote about my childhood, which talks about the dangers of teaching young children about sex. First, sex education is a good thing when your body is ready to go through changes. You should be aware of those changes. You should know about condoms and protection. But for me, sex education started when I was seven. I was a little kid. I had zero hormones. I would not get hormones like that for another five years. When my mom gave the first lesson, I was completely grossed out. I didn’t care about what she was saying. I hated sitting there. After enough lessons, I knew all about sex. Well, when you know all about something, you want to do it. Why would you put something like that in the brain of somebody that you don’t want that brain. Thinking about it or doing it. If you

don’t want the kids to do it, you don’t want the kids to talk about it. You don’t want the kids doing it to each other. Don’t fucking teach them how to do it. Those thoughts would never have occurred to me if I hadn’t been taught. I had zero urges. I was a child. But I was taught. So I. I did know how to have sex, which means we had sex with each other with the neighbor kids. My mother told us that there were poor children out there in the world with cruel parents who refused to teach their little children about this important thing. And she was correct when we asked them if they knew how to do this important thing. They all said no. So what did we do? We taught those poor little kids about this important thing. Then when I was 13 and

going through actual body changes, hormonal changes, getting real sexual urges, for the first time in my life, I could put the two instances side by side and view them logically. There was no reason to teach me about sex before I turned 13. It did not help me to have known about this stuff since I was seven. It hurt me. My mother used graphic, blunt, in-depth details to teach us. She had us touch her boyfriend’s penis in a hotel room. If you want to use cutesy words to explain cutesy things to little kids with siblings in the womb, go ahead. I’m all for it. But using adult bodies to explain adult concepts, graphic books, drawings and descriptions is straight up abuse. Using your perverse sexual urges to pretend to teach children about sex is wrong.
I would like to ask everyone listening to please think before you do something that might damage a child. It is okay to hug a child. It is okay to tell them what is growing in your tummy and that they will have a little brother soon. It is okay to hold your baby out and snuggle waggle them. It’s okay to wrestle and tickle.

Respectfully.

And drown your kids in kisses.

It is not okay to sexualize any of those activities. Don’t. Whatever excuse is rattling around in your brain is not going to justify the permanent damage you do. You don’t have the right. You may feel entitled to it.

I think they get it.

I didn’t know that children in the United States had that problem because I wouldn’t believe such a problem would occur in America. For example, in my country, we get married when we are 18 or older. I don’t know anyone who got married before the age of 18, but I know there were such things in my grandmother’s time. If I want to talk about Bangladesh growing up in a city, I never saw that kind of stuff. But I cannot deny that this is not happening, for example, in rural countries. A lot of factors leading to child marriage or a forced marriage. You might say the factors could be financial or food insecurity to cultural or social norms, whatever the cause. Child marriage compromises a child’s development, and severely limits are his opportunities in life. So we cannot say that it is a good thing, but I

don’t see much in my culture. We also have child marriage laws like it is prohibited or I can say it is illegal in Bangladesh since 1929 and the minimum age of marriage has been set at 18 for woman and 21 for men since 1980s. If you go back to village, you can see that their child marriage like 15 years of a girl who got married and it could be forced marriage because of poverty or any kinds of traditional or social norms. We have a lot of organizations that are really working hard for this to solve. For example, we have the Ministry of Women and Children Affairs. They’re working with UNICEF, and they jointly organized the launch of National Plan of Action to end the Child Marriage. I think that in future may be the rate of child marriage in Bangladesh. It is high, actually, like

I. I didn’t know much about this, but when I listen to your podcast, I went to the Internet and research and it shows that Bangladesh has one of the highest rating in child marriage. But I think the research was old. I think it’s going on still now. But in future, the way the organizations are working, I think in the future it will be less. We need to end child marriage in many countries. That is happening to promote the rights of young girls or boys to have a better future. I would love to see America to make some laws against it because this is not nice.

I would like to introduce next week’s episode. Media Effects on our relationships. What does Disney tell us love is? How do dating apps affect our ability to find healthy relationships? Our movies, magazines and advice columns, marriage books and TV commercials a source of a good role modeling for healthy relationships. And do social media apps deteriorate communication in a relationship?

We really want to hear what you guys think about next week’s topic. Write into us your ideas, your stories, your questions, anything pertaining to next week’s episode. Media and its effects on relationships. You can email us. You can join our Patreon. We want to hear from you. And if you got anything out of today’s episode, please give us some love. Subscribe and read us.

Thank you so much, everyone, for listening. We love you. See you next week on Dating Hypothesis.