Episode 21: C ₁₂H ₂₂O ₁₁

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Rachel: “My favorites are the ones with lots of money and no time. Slaves to their job, ferociously bent on making as much cash as they can, they end up with only a few minutes a week to spend with a person having sex.”

Kayla: “Are you talking about the research done by Rachel Potter et al?”

Rachel: “Yes I am, That’s the one!!!”

Music Intro

Hey everyone, my name is Kayla

And this is Rachel with Dating Hypothesis, thank you so much for joining us today!

Add “Two Beats”

*Begin conversation

I’m just letting you all know, you might want to have a drink before you hit play on this episode.

Right!?! I feel like we should rate our show’s trigger warning levels by glasses of wine.

This episode needs two glasses of wine and a joint.

Alright, I want to start this episode with “Why” questions.

Why? When did you choose to do this?

The first time I started hating my body is when I was nine, running around outside playing or riding my bike would result in men hanging out their car window or trucks cat calling me, slowing down to ask me sexual questions, inviting me to do things with them. As these men leered at my child body I started hating men. I hated their comments. I hated their attention. I was molested three times before I turned 13. The more often I got molested the more I decided my body was only good for one thing. Attracting attention from assholes and perverts.

While I didn’t go through quite the trauma you did, I remember times like that in my early teens. Once when leaving a movie theater with one of my best friends of my younger years we had an older man slow-roll past us, asking us what we were doing and if we wanted to ride in his “cool car”. News flash, it wasn’t a cool car and he was creepy AF. That experience was gross enough. I cannot imagine how you felt going through what you did.

When I was 13, I read a magazine article written by a kept woman and I decided right then and there I was going to be a kept woman. My body did one thing well, it attracted predators, I may as well profit from it. Men are assholes anyway, I may as well benefit from that as well. I call it my “robin hood” moment. I realized the world was full of rich old men willing to pay soft pretty women to have full access to their bodies and I wanted in on that. I was getting molested anyway. Men were going to take it from me, either way. I knew no decent person would want me since I had been involved in incest for years. So, it seemed like a good route for me.

Yeah, but you’re 49 now. Why do you continue to do it? Why is this a better option than a job? And why are men willing to give financial help to someone so old? Like, there are thousands of 20 year olds on that site bitch, why you?

Good questions. All good questions. It does seem counterintuitive to seek out an old sugar baby. At my age, my best selling point is my age. I know exactly “why they are on that site” and I know the ropes of sugaring. I know what they are seeking, what they need. I can focus, I am not on my cell phone. Ever. None of my Sugar Daddies have ever seen my cell phone. 

Well yeah that is a good point, I mean I have seen complaints from Reddit Sub threads and have even overheard “Boomers” bitching about the younger generation being on their phone. I mean I have seen Sugar Daddies on the subthreads saying things like, “ I am literally paying you to be with me get off your damn phone!”

Despite most Sugar Daddies being predatory in nature and wanting to take advantage of the multitudes of young, too innocent, girls, some men just want mature attention. So, I am a better fit for them. Some men want a sugar baby and simply don’t jive with a fresh young kid on the market. And some of those fresh young kids on the market are a serious waste of time and money. These men have experienced that first hand. They see my profile and it’s like finding common sense. I might be 50, but when they are 97 I am still half their age.

And with your age come wisdom? 

Wisdom of the sexual kind. Yeah, I know a thing or two about men’s bodies.

Why do you continue to do it? And Why is it better than a job?

Well, Some daddies are in and out in 20 minutes once a month for 1k/month as a set allowance, no phone calls or texts in between meetings, no photos, no videos. A thousand dollars doesn’t come easier than that. Don’t get me wrong, that’s not common. It’s rare. But, when you find that…it’s hard to convince yourself to work for $13 an hour for a boss that micromanages you and treats you like shit.

I had an arrangement with a muslim man from chicago that had to fly into my city once a month for his business. I was in and out of that hotel room in 20 minutes. That got sent whether he could make it that month or not. That is the best benefit about Sugaring. The set allowance. 

Don’t get tricked into thinking it’s guaranteed. It’s never guaranteed. They can quit on you without notice. Have a constant rotation because one is always on the way out or  fading away and you have to replace them. Never only have one. It’s pretty easy to find 3 arrangements that will be solid for a year. And when you seek out these kinds of rarities you can juggle three or four of them in a month because you only have to see someone once a month or once a week, you space em out. 

Last year, you told me you had four sugar daddies? They are okay not being monogamous?

Hmmm, well, they think we are monogamous. They think me a girl half their age is completely in love with them and that I sit and wait all month for them to visit me for 20 minutes a month.

They really believe this?

I don’t know. I’ve had so many ask me to marry them.

So, you had a monthly allowance for how much time with all of them?

The four of them,,, totaled up,,, 9 hours spread out over the month.

Three of them were, once a month. They had no time to meet, were married, and like clockwork I was done in 20 minutes walking out the door. The fourth was once a month as well. But, This man got us a nice hotel room with a jacuzzi tub, he would fill the tub with hot water, oils, scents, bubbles, have strawberries and chocolates next to the tub, and after our bath would give me a massage.

So, no sex?

There is always sex. That’s the unspoken given. If I ever talk about what I do with a Sugar Daddy, sex is implied in there somewhere. I just don’t mention it because it’s a given. Anyone trying to sell sugaring as a nonsexual gig is lying. I’m not saying it doesn’t exist. I personally, have had two. Two in ten years. That’s not enough to be considered real in my book.

Well, that is about what I expected, I know there are those clueless girls posting online trying to find the sugar daddy that doesn’t want sex… but let’s face it when most of us hear it we think Hugh and his bunnies! So if you hear a sugar baby boasting she doesn’t have to have sex…she’s probably just hiding information that’s none of your business.

Ok but seriously, why is it better than a “regular job.” a 9-5 sounds more pleasant and less ookie.

If I have a job as a receptionist my boss ain’t gonna be purchasing me podcast equipment, a $600 scooter, or financing trips to Europe, Puerta Vallarta, Hawaii, or Pensacola Florida. 

It sounds like easy money.

Easy money??? No. don’t be jealous. It’s anything but easy.

Quick money?

Quick money? Yeah, yeah, It’s quick. If you’re savvy about it and patient to find the right men. It can be quick. Shop around until you find the right one or ones. Then make it the best damn 20 minutes of their life or they’ll be looking online for their next baby.

Who was your favorite?

My favorite? The best one? I met on tinder. I thought we were dating. I would visit him every Thursday night for a few hours. After a month, I realized we were only FWB because I was still just visiting him every Thursday night for a few hours.

I tried asking for more, but, He claimed he had to go down to Denver every weekend to help out his mom since she was aging. A few months of this and I pull up my big girl panties and realize he was cheating on his girlfriend with me. He moves in with her. AND then asks to see me at my apartment every Thursday morning for a few hours. Ha ha. At that point I was fuming. So, yeah, as a joke, I told him I’d be willing to be his sugar baby. He agreed!!!

Damn!

So yeah, my favorite. I wish they were all like that.

So you are attracted to him?

Yes, very much so. But I am a little attracted to all of my arrangements. There is a ratio of money to ugly that happens on both sides of a sugar arrangement. I would rather have less money with a more attractive person than more money with a fugly.

“Fugly”? Classy as always Sweet Rachel…

Unfortunately, the more handsome they are, the more likely they are to text you all day blowing up the phone. Wanting nudes. Dirty talk. Videos, cancel plans last minute when you could have gone with friends to the mountains or rafting the river all day, but no…. They are inconsistent. Want ppm instead of monthly allowance. Go months without planning to meet you, then text out of the blue and want to meet last second, then disappear again. So in all actuality I would not want them all to be as handsome as him. Because he is a pain in the ass and super inconsistent.

What is PPM?

PPM is much worse than an allowance. Allowance is a set financial gift so you don’t have to worry about rent. PPM is when someone wants to be random and inconsistent. To me, it’s no better than a john. I mean, if you can’t rely on them for consistency then why bother calling it sugar? There’s nothing sweet about that. That’s just stress and anxiety.

What is the worst offer you got?

This guy had grand delusions about sugaring. I think he had a friend that managed to manipulate a newbie sugar baby (someone, too weak to stand up for herself) into a huge time commitment for essentially nothing for allowance. There are definitely women out there, that are in the bowl that are super gullible and easy to prey on.

Ok, so explain the bowl because all I am thinking right now is of some bizarre ass nationally televised Sugar Baby competition with one wild halftime show…

The bowl is just a sugar arrangement. We call it the bowl. Newbies will say they want in the bowl. Like a bowl of sugar.

Tell me more about this delusional guy.

This guy wanted to spend every weekend with me, all weekend, all night. Sex all night. For $400 allowance per month??? I laughed so hard when he told me what he wanted. He’s all “But I can’t afford more…” “I want to enjoy our time together and you will be getting a free vacation every weekend you could never afford”.”I will make sure to take care of your sexual needs too. I am very giving that way”.

I finally had to tell him, “Bitch a hoe is $300 per hour plus the cost of a hotel. Why the fuck would I spend 192 hours with you for $400? That’s $2 an hour. What the fuck in that constitutes a sugar arrangement? I would miss my friends birthday, my other friends baby shower, and every other friend’s anything to be with you. Every weekend chore would need to be done during the week after school and work, so I can devote every single entire weekend to your needs? When the fuck am I supposed to do my laundry or buy groceries? When would I ever get “me” time, hang out with my friends, have time for my boyfriend? Dude was dreaming.

He argued with me about everything I would be getting out of it. All night of great sex, great food, awesome hotel room in the mountains, getting to ride on the back of his motorcyle with him. Hahhaha. Like, dude…that sounds like torture. You’re fat, ugly, balding, short, old, have a nasty beard, and smell weird.

The saddest part to me is he probably eventually found what he was looking for. Some of the sugar babies online are so new, so innocent to it all, so shy, so scared to say no, and so desperate for cash they are willing to agree to something like that hoping it pans out in the end. It rarely does. Men will take advantage of anything that shows signs of weakness.

Ah, you’re making me gag over here. I need to take a commercial break.

Do we have any listeners who are sugar babies or were? How long were you in the bowl? Ha that still just sounds so marawannaie to me. Write to us on facebook, twitter, or Instagram.

– Let’s take a quick Commercial break, we will be right back. (wait 3 seconds) And we are back.

Commercial Spot one: (13:27) 

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**Resume Conversation

So Rachel, How did you start in the BOWWWEL?!?

I started when I was 19 in L.A.

So, how exactly do you start though? 

There are a multitude of websites. The largest one is Seeking.com

Wait, have you found anyone on craigslist, well besides me? Haha

No, not on craigslist. I only do Seeking.com after having tried many others like rent-a-friend, What’s your price, and others like that.

We do not have endorsements with any of these websites.

Once I create a profile, it can take 8 weeks to finally make an arrangement with someone. I have to weed my way through the site. The men can see if you click on their profile or not. So you can’t just go through quick and emoji heart all their profiles to get their attention. You have to click each profile. So they’ve seen you look. They either ignore you because they don’t like your profile picture or they click your profile. 

Well that seems a little unfair, you actually have to read his shit but he can deny you if you don’t look just perfect in your Profile picture?! 

Men have to wade their way through the bots. I am on the sugar baby side of the site. There are almost no fake men profiles. In smaller cities there are a few. The website puts up fake profiles to make it look like there are more available men than exist in real life. It looks good to have choice and variety. But when a girl clicks a fake male profile nothing happens. When a man clicks a fake female profile he gets led down a rabbit hole of Only Fans, girls selling photos, “subscribe to my website” and such. For the most part the men will be real.

So I notice you keep mentioning “Male” And “Female” are there sites for same sex sugar Babies or Sugar Mama websites?

There are sugar mammas. But not many, almost none. But they exist. There are couples looking together, there are trannie babies, johns, lurkers, splenda daddies,

and there are losers who pretend they want a real relationship or are looking for marriage…but, given the site they are on…what are they really looking for? Most certainly not a real relationship as they claim. They are there looking for a young gullible beautiful woman who is willing to wait on them hand and foot in all ways, foremost sexually.

The women who fall for this end up stuck in sick pretend relationships where they have no money of their own, it’s all his, they don’t get to have an opinion on anything, they are not allowed to be upset, or want anything he doesn’t want to give them. They are treated like blow up dolls. The “financial benefits” are getting to live in his house, ride in his car, go on vacation with him, you’re basically a pet. Sounds great until you are actually stuck living like that. No freedom, no money of your own, no voice, and not allowed to be unhappy in any way…because he will drop you like yesterday’s diaper.

Sounds like they just need to invest in a robot sex doll at that rate! Like truly I can’t understand how anyone could be convinced to be a “partner” in a relationship like that? Why would anyone do it?

Money. They have their eye on the prize but it never pans out.

So you mentioned how some are lurkers? What exactly do lurkers do? Do they just stare at profiles or what?

Pretend you are a shy man who has been married for ten years and your wife won’t have sex with you. You are broke. You are dying of loneliness and you need to masterbate. But looking at photos or videos online doesn’t get your dick hard. You want to talk to someone. You want to feel the interaction and emotion of the conversation since you live like a hermit without human interaction.

They sound like energy vampires.

Yeah, don’t they? They have access to free porn online, but they Create a profile on Seeking.com to get access to tons of women willing to talk to them (for months) because women hope he is going to be their jackpot savior.

Seems like the internet alternative to sex hotlines?

Just fake your income stats to a million or more and the girls flood into your inbox. You never spend a penny outside of the site fee. Men like this would never match on tinder with anyone. On seeking.come if you fake your income in your profile you are guaranteed matches. Dozens of matches if not hundreds. If you play your hand right, being coy about meeting up in real life, but being bold about needing to see nudes first so you don’t get catfished ect…!!! you have a harem of girls at your beck and call. You can get their number and text them for months before they catch on and smarten up and block you. Some newbies are so stupid they literally will send nudes and videos for months without getting a penny and then come and complain about it on reddit. All you have to do is lead these stupid girls on. You need to have an excuse for this or that. Just play them.

On the flip side of that. Girls will have a guy venmo them cash and pretend to set times to meet them, but will send nudes and videos instead, then have an accident or emergency as to why they can’t meet. But they play the guys and keep getting venmo’ed. So many games. It’s a minefield.

Do any of these websites have guidelines? Like if you’re caught “scamming” your sugar daddy or baby do you get banned or anything?

Yes, they have language recognition software that rejects you from the site if you mention pay, money, or sex.

So if I wanted to get on the site tonight, what would I do to find a sugar daddy?

When you are new on the site, have a sheet of paper with your goals in front of you. Message everyone. Old, fat, ugly, photos, no photos, young, couples. You literally never know where the jackpot is. Now, it is so important to Only engage with people past the initial greeting of six sentences if they start checking off your goals. For me that is a willingness to meet in person within seven days including coming up with a Time, Day, and Place to meet. If a man is not willing to meet within the next seven days then I block him. If he can’t set a day/time/place then I block him. I am not interested in games. 

How do you deal with the rejection?

I don’t. I never feel rejection. These are losers. If you are delicate and wanting to be a sugar baby, the vetting process will destroy you. These men are pigs.

Why would I message old ugly people? I want the classic hot rich stud.

That isn’t realistic in many cities or for anyone who’s not a perfect 10.

Wait there is a rating system? Like do you get reviews too? I feel like you’re telling me there is a Yelp! for Sugar Babies!

No, I just mean, if you are not what men consider a ten, then don’t expect a hot rich guy to be willing to message you.

So unless you’re a ten, you can’t be a sugar baby?

That’s not what I mean either. If you create a fake profile today (pretending to be a man so you can see all the women’s profiles) (yes, I did that for research purposes of course) you will see the full gamut of who is in the bowl. Anorexic, obese, fit, every color, every height, tattoos, pure lilly white sweet young things, and goth. It’s all there. There is someone for everyone.

So why automatically block them if you don’t get something in your one week timeframe? Isn’t that a little intense?

Maybe some of these men genuinely wanted an arrangement and were shy, nervous about meeting in person since it is their first time and they don’t know what to ask or say…So what. I don’t give a shit what their excuses are for not being up front, bold, forward, and setting a time to meet this week. Newbies are a waste of my time. They’re wishy washy. They try to nickel and dime you. They have zero appreciation for how good a solid committed long term arrangement can be for both parties. Therefore I am uninterested. Someone else can break them in and teach them the ropes. I don’t have time for that shit.

Damn Rachel you sound like the bull at the rodeo everyone new is scared to ride!

Yup. I get the well trained cowboys willing to saddle up to take this 8 second ride. 

So let’s say a guy does ask for nudes before making an arrangement? Is that an immediate block?

There are other reasons men ask for nudes before meeting a sugar baby in real life. They have made arrangements with sugar babies before and when she takes off her clothes the shape isn’t true to form, or, all kinds of things can be off putting for them especially since they are paying. Like stretch marks from weight loss or birthing.

I suppose seeing as they are “paying for a product” it’s only fair to let them inspect it first?

Nope. I refuse to send nudes. I don’t want an arrangement with someone not willing to take that risk. I want someone who has the time, patience, and cash to meet me for real and test that shit out in real life. If they are too broke to meet, not willing to risk disappointment, then I am not interested. I have zero sympathy for what they go through. I am focused on what I have to go through on my end.

If you are chatting with someone online and they will not set a time to meet you in real life…they’re not likely to meet you in real life or make an arrangement with you. You shouldn’t have to work at it! On a site like that. It’s literally a site for real live people to meet other real live people in the flesh.

So what about the “one time Tim’s” or the “Right This Minute Richards”, the guys who are looking for the immediate meet-ups before an arrangement is made?

Ha ha yeah, the johns. They are all over these sites. They only want to meet tonight. They won’t set a day to meet later this week. These men have zero interest in an arrangement. They just don’t know where to find a prostitute and are tricking girls into meeting them immediately, then disappear. Pump and dump. For me, that is a body count issue. No way, I am going through that many bodies. Ideally, I would find three men that I can trust long term, like, for ten years, so I only have to see them.

Unfortunately, men lose interest after a while. They either want new booty or they want to get married. It’s difficult to find the married men who basically want a second marriage. When you do find that perfection, it is so important to never bring your shit into it. Play your part. Every time. Treat it like a job and it will take good care of you. It’s too bad none of my husbands were that professional with me. I think a lot of marriages would be better if spouses were a little more professional with each other.

Has there ever been one you would have considered marrying, or do you like the “job” aspect of it, keeping an air of professionalism?

I would never marry a Sugar Daddy. The very nature of what they are seeking is repulsive to me. These men are selfish, greedy, entitled assholes.

Ok you mentioned it earlier, What is the difference between a Sugar Daddy and a Splenda daddy?

A splenda daddy looks for discounts. They want you to host, so they can save money, but then they stink up your house with their nasty man smell, and then they know where you live. They only have a small budget of disposable income and by making an arrangement with you they are now broke. Which means they cannot afford to sugar. Sugaring involves presents. Splenda daddies are broke after the allowance. So it’s just a bad date with low quality food if you’re lucky enough to get fed. They do this even though it breaks their bank because it guarantees them sex.

How would you recognize at the meet and greet that he is a Splenda Daddy rather than a sugar daddy?

I was at a meet and greet with someone who seemed promising until a half hour later he still hadn’t removed his sunglasses or hat. So, basically I had zero idea what his aura was like. I could hear his voice and see his shape but had no access to his eyes. We hadn’t even made eye contact and he is asking me if I am sensual enough to warrant $1000 a month allowance. They are wormy. Like worms wriggling around the financial aspect of the arrangement trying to worm more out of you than they can give.

Splenda daddies try to make up for the lack of financial ability by tricking you into thinking you’re getting their god like skills in the sack. I am not interested in the ones who think they can make up for lack of financial ability with sexual prowres. Or worse the ones who want to make it all about me and make me feel good. Having some gross ass sicko eating me out makes my gag reflexes kick in just thinking about it. There are fuglies out there that just want to eat pussy for hours and hours on end. It’s, So gross. No thank you. That is the last thing I want in this. I prefer to keep fluid exchange to none. Zero. Nada.

Well, you were a beginner once upon a time, did you have to wade through a few splenda daddies before knowing who was the real deal?

I did make mistakes and arranged with splenda daddies before. One in particular put a video camera wrapped in a towel on the couch during our first meeting. I left. No words. As I walked past the “hidden” camera I flipped it off. I am happy to make videos. I hold their phone to video for them from a certain angle. But doing it in secrecy? Hell no bro. Not happening. Trust broken. I’m out. 

Another one wanted me to roll in dollar bills, scooping them up in my tits. We made an arrangement but it turned out he was only in the country for a week and was from a poor country. He acted like $50 one dollar bills on the bed was a mountain of gold. I’m like fuck this …this is $50 dude. I’m out.

Another one was cheating on his girlfriend “in her house”. Trying not to get my scent anywhere. Made me do it on a towel on the floor. Like wtf. Get a hotel asshole. That’s splenda.

They want to take you shopping instead of pay allowance? Ha, then buy you a single cheap bra you would never wear in real life. They want me to wear it for their fantasy. WTF how is this beneficial to me in any capacity?

They don’t want to give allowance just mentorship. They will talk to you about how they got rich (leaving out, how their parents were rich), so you think you can be rich someday if you fuck them while they talk about money. They hope you are dying for the proximity. Just to be near their wealth.

Kinda sounds like the girls who end up on the “directors Couch” hoping to be the next big hollywood star

Yes, exactly. 

So, they give you an allowance. But then, splenda daddies are not taking into account the expenses of being a sugar baby like Std testing, gas to drive to them, sexy clothes, time off work. (if you’re available or “on call for booty” how can you have a job? Many don’t. So the allowance is literally their means of survival).

And then splenda daddies will say in their profile…fine dining and travel…but then they have to be discreet so never leave the hotel room?

Hands down the easiest way to spot a splenda is every Fucking single one of them thinks they can grope you at the coffee meet, but not gift your gas to get there. Fuck that shit. If you plan on kissing or groping, that’s arrangement behavior so slip me my envelope for this month. If I show up to a coffee meet so we can assess each other, fill my gas tank.

How do you deal with a groper?

I say to them, “ah, so we are in agreement and are now entering our arrangement? Do you need my venmo”?

“I don’t pay to “coffee meet”!!!

But I sure as hell will grab your crotch, rub your ass, squeeze your tits and rub you up against my body, ask for a sample, shove my nasty tongue down your throat to check for chemistry to see if it’s real, …But, don’t make it transactional by asking for allowance so soon”.

Some guys will trick women into a test drive. Lol. not me. One said to me “I never make an arrangement with a sugar baby until she proves she can do it right.” Nope, I walked out of that coffee meet.

I’ve had men message from two states away, asking me to drive 14 hours to meet them??? And they ask this while refusing to discuss allowance. That is a fast track to getting raped.

Splenda daddies are on a similar spectrum of wealth as sugar daddies, just lower. I had a spenda daddy I didn’t realize was on the spectrum who took me to Puerta Vallarta for a week. Up until this trip I was happy with the arrangement. However, I lost interest during the trip. The first day was normal. I had no idea he was splenda until the second day. We had to listen to a thing like a timeshare subscription pitch or something. I realized we were there on a super discounted deal. Then, he wouldn’t take us anywhere. We just fucked in the hotel all day and all night. He insisted on only “eating authentic local food”. So we ate .50 cent tacos all week. I got fed up and had a day to myself. I used the money I brought, to get a taxi to swim with dolphins, bought my own photo package. That asshat had the nerve to be jealous when I came back with cool photos of me swimming with dolphins. He was all “why didn’t you invite me????” When I literally asked for days what we were going to do and listed the ten things I wanted to do and he said to my face, “I can’t afford that”. He didn’t buy me a souvenir. The worst part was he only bought me one drink a day. I don’t drink much, but in that kind of circumstance, drink be necessary.

So…you don’t like sugar daddies, you don’t like splenda daddies,…what do you like?

I am not sure what they are called. But it’s what I described earlier. The long term quickies. They are that borderline between splenda daddies and sugar daddies. They have the financial ability but no time. Every single one had gifted me a present during our first meet. So, I knew at our coffee meet they were serious, interested, and considerate.

They’re not cocky, arrogant, self entitled jerk off’s like a lot of sugar daddies are. When a sugar daddy can actually afford an arrangement they want your time. I don’t like giving my time. My time is precious. I don’t like people in general. And, the more I get to know someone the less I like them. This is universal for me. So it’s actually not a good idea for me to get to know them because the arrangement is doomed at that point. I am willing to pretend to worship someone for two hours a week. That’s it. That’s my tolerance level.

My favorite, is when they take an hour off work, get a hotel, zip in and out, in under an hour, and they go back to work. That is the freaking best. Slam, bam, thank you ma’am. The small talk stays small. You barely get to know them, (but after a year you have gathered enough information to feel like they are a good acquaintance). You know enough about them. We both maintain our own private lives. No probing, no prodding questions. I don’t have to hear about their drama. But the long term quality of it generates a certain comfortable level with each other.

You start laughing with each other and looking forward to meeting up. It isn’t a drudgery. No one is asking for much. It’s not a downer in any way. It’s light and happy. Anything more than that is a chore and difficult to maintain without wanting to gouge my eyes out. If they have time to talk too much, things get sour real quick and I find myself hating my life and wanting to kill something.

That’s why I do much better with something in between splenda and sugar daddies. The level of asshole in sugar daddies is over the top. I can’t handle that shit.

What do you mean? Tell me more about that.

They try to impress you with their cash but they don’t want to give any to you. Don’t get me wrong. Sometimes what they give is huge for me. But not for them. It’s pennies to them. So they give you what they consider pennies and act like they should be worshiped for it.

Just “admire my money, don’t you want me so much?” 

No, I want your money. 

“You’re making it transactional”.

You’re fat and ugly and gross and cheating on your wife.

So, they get off on the power play of a girl wanting their money? It makes them feel desired which is weird because you don’t want them. Just their money. And they dangle it to see who is willing to dance the most for it or jump the highest?

I lose interest real quick when I match with losers like that. I don’t have time or interest in lining up with a bunch of other girls online to make them feel special. These types prey on the weak, newbies, and financially desperate.

You told me before they will make an arrangement and immediately want you to double what you are giving, without them giving more.

Yeah, almost every single one has tried that. And, I am like “sure we can double OUR arrangement”.

“I don’t want to double our arrangement. It’s the honeymoon stage. I’m just trying to get to know you. Don’t make it transactional”.

It kills me everytime they say that “don’t make it transactional”. Dude, get a real girlfriend.

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I am going to seriously regret this. But, please tell me about the sex.

They smell.

They smell?

They all smell bad. Bad breath. Poopy hairy buttholes. Hairy eyebrows and ears. Flakey skin. Creepy toe nails. Bad kissers. Bad sex. They want it loud. They try to be all sensual but don’t text, call, or snuggle? I mean, I don’t want them calling or snuggling. But how delusional do you have to be to think a girl is real under those circumstances?

They literally ask me if I came. Every year it gets more difficult to paint on that convincing face. 

Like, they actually want to feel like gods and they want you to love them but have zero feelings for them.

So they like to be worshiped? Plus they want their penis worshiped. They want you to writhe all over them to try to get to their money but they won’t give you anything substantial. They dangle the carrot and get mad when you catch on.

They want you to worship their money with your pussy. They are all childish, selfish, and act like I owe them my soul, body, sex, adoration, extra time. Every single one acts like their hundred dollar bill is made out of gold. I have had men literally rub their cash on my naked body and want me to want it. I have had men hand me my allowance while they whisper in my ear “you know what this is for” then push me on my knees.

They want a genuine connection, that they pay for, with a hot chick while they are fat, old, wrinkley, have bad breath, breathe in your face, snuggle you while they lift their arms so your face is in their arm pit, ugly, cheap, they sweat, and cheating on their wives. Which means they want you to grovel for the opportunity to have sex with them. Worship their subpar tactics and lame personalities. Worship their pot bellies and 90 year old bodies. Gush about how hot they are and how amazing their penis is. And how that 5 seconds of sex was super great, the best I ever had.

If you smile, talk nice, and are patient, they ask you to marry them. Like why would i subject myself to that shit everyday? All day? All night.

Every single one says, “wont you marry me? I could fuck you right like this all day and all night and we could wake up in the wee hours of the morning and have sex and I could wake you up in the middle of the night and make sweet love to you.” Really? Is that what’s happening here? Sweet love? You know literally nothing about me. nothing.

I had a sugar daddy in L.A who was 94 with Parkinson disease. He was a millionaire. He insisted I marry him. Every day he kept trying to drive us to the court house. He wasn’t capable of having sex so instead he wanted me to fuck other men gang bang style in his living room. I refused. We only had an arrangement for 7 month before he realized I was never going to marry him. During that time, I made friends with his best friend and we kept in touch for a while. That sugar daddy married another girl within two months after we broke up and died a month later on a cruise ship trip. His best friend called me crying. He had had a bad feeling about her and tried telling his friend who wouldn’t listen.

You have met some crazy characters during all this. How many have been millionaires?

A few. The most recent one spent two years wooing me asking me to marry him. He owned two mansions.

Sounds great right?

Hell yeah, why the fuck didn’t you marry that guy?

I’m trying to tell you these people are weird. They are touch starved. Their egos are unbelievable. This man rarely fed me. In a vanilla relationship the man will take you on dates to restaurants. Husbands will take you to restaurants. This man didn’t eat with me.

I would bring a bottle of wine with me to his house so I could get through the evening. He repeatedly called me an alcoholic. I don’t have liquor in my house. No beer, Nothing. I don’t go to bars. I only drink socially or when I am sugaring. He was constantly calling me an alcoholic. (actually come to think of it all my sugar daddies think I am an alcoholic) My current sugar daddy thinks I am an alcoholic too. So funny. So many complain about their last sugar baby being an alcoholic. Dude we only drink around you. It’s the only way to tolerate being touched. You need it to be “real”…okay, more alcohol.

But a millionaire, I mean come on!

All these men, I never met a single person in their life. All these men asking me to marry them. I never met their families. We don’t hang out together with his peers or my peers. I come over and we fuck, then I leave. They are basing a marriage off of that behavior.

Their social skills are seriously lacking. He talked about himself like he was a god. How could I survive 30 years living like that if he is only 60 years old?

Yeah, but the 97 year old, that’s like only 3 years!

Ha, with my luck that asshole would have lived to 103. I would be a bloated obese drunkard after 6 years of that.

Okay but the 60 year old doesn’t sound that bad.

He was a millionaire and a cheapskate at the same time. He asked me to spend more time with him without adjusting the arrangement, complained about the money, then would turn around and spend crazy amounts on stupid stuff. One time he bragged about a chair he bought for his deck that cost 5 thousand dollars in an attempt to convince me to marry him. He kept bragging about his millions thinking I would get interested or jealous or something. I don’t know. It was so frustrating to him that I wasn’t salivating for it. But he never gave me any. I saw zero generosity towards me financially. As far as I was concerned the marriage wouldn’t have been any different. When a man shows you himself with his actions and behaviors then you should take it at face value. I would have been married to a millionaire who didn’t take us out to dine, didn’t take me anywhere, would hide me at home, and not let me spend anything on myself. When he finally realized it was never going to happen he asked me if I had any good money patent ideas or retail ideas he could use to open a business. Not for me, mind you. For himself. Ha ha ha. Like why would I give him a good idea for a business for himself?

Six weeks after we broke up, he married a sugar baby he met online from Florida.

So, you are saying you wouldn’t do that? If an allowance wasn’t involved you wouldn’t be with someone on that website?

There is zero chance of finding me with anyone on a site like that if not for the financial arrangement.

There are men who use those sites as “dating apps” looking for women willing to 

“date up”.

The problem with that, is men are not willing to date the women who they find “wanting to “date up”.” It’s a scam. They’re not dating those women. If they were “the woman wouldn’t be expected to “put out” anymore than anyone else out there dating is”. But given the site these people are on, sex is a given, even if the man says he’s uncomfortable making arrangements with sugar babies, he is looking for women on a sugar platform (women willing to have sex with rich men).

I mean, I don’t know, it sounds good, right? Why not date them?

These are men who have to eat anyway, are going to these concerts anyway, are going on vacation and taking these trips by themselves all alone. They can’t afford an arrangement but they have just enough money for a second meal, concert ticket, flight. Oh, the hotel room is already paid for so why not have a woman there with you? They are willing to pay the way to things they already do, but you don’t have a say in where you go or what you see plus you have to put out and be perpetually happy. It’s a given. Because of the site he found you on. If he found you on Okcupid you would never feel the need to put out. That’s why they look on seeking.com It’s a whole different dynamic in their favor. And they know they are getting free sugar babies just by changing the title to “dating up”.

We are running out of time for this episode. What else can you tell me about sugaring? I hear you say all the bad things but damn it seems like a good arrangement if you have the grit.

Finding someone compatible is like finding a needle in a haystack. Too many men are on the site plowing their way through, boning every girl that is foolish enough to fall for it. They profile for an intelligent lady but when i want to talk neuroscience with them they have outdated knowledge or are dumb. 90% of them refuse to wear condoms since they are paying for it. Too many are there seeking anal or oral since they can’t get it from their wife. But they offer an allowance that wouldn’t cover regular std testing.

The part that blows my mind the most is that they pay for something then fall for the lies and think you actually like them, like what??? You realize you are paying for this act, right? Like you are paying me to act like you are a god. You pay me to not have an opinion, needs, feelings, ideas or emotions of my own, you are paying me for my company. You honestly believe I would only want sex from someone like you for the rest of my life?

My current 91 year old honestly believes I enjoy every second I spend with him. He is genuinely confused about why I won’t marry him. He admitted up front if we got married I would not be able to inherit anything since it is in an ironclad will to his family. But he wants to have heart-to-heart conversations about why I won’t marry him. He literally asks me “Don’t I please you enough? I thought I was getting you off good. We could be this happy every day instead of just once a week. I promise I would fuck you this good every day”. This is a man who could never imagine what I actually like or enjoy in life because he knows nothing about me.

Okay, yeah, they are delusional.

I have been to hundreds of coffee meets where the man immediately asks me where I live, where I work, address, asks me about my family, friends, hobbies, all the while zip about them. Their information has to remain private since they are married. These men want full access to my apartment, want my email address, phone number, socials, like what??? They are so entitled. The bad ones won’t pick the same time to meet every week. For god sakes a true daddy “golfs every tuesday at 4pm” just get a “hobby” it’s not difficult.

So many sugar daddies are in open-relationships. Open, and having to pay!!! Lol you know she ain’t paying for sex!

This is so depressing. You purposely surround yourself with losers who treat you like shit. Even your own boyfriend treats you like shit. Tell me about your current sugar daddy. I have heard you talk about him and he genuinely sounds like a sweetheart.

He is. But even sweethearts are just entitled selfish men. He budgeted himself 10 thousand dollars to convince me to marry him. He spent an entire year wooing me with intent to marry me. Never introduced me to anyone in his family. None of his friends. Took me to Pensecola Florida for a week. Wants to go to Australia for a month. He continually says “marry me so we can run away South America”. What? I am not a caretaker. Free housekeeper, pet sitter, masseuse, cook, and chauffeur for an old man.

My allowance is 1000/month which strains him to the point of not being able to afford to take us out to dinner. When we do go, he takes me to Denny’s. But he can afford to take us to Australia for a month? My Xmas present from him was a $50 jacket. I got him a $300 prostitute he could eat out for an hour since it is the only thing in life he wants and I wont let him. I got him a remote control truck that he really likes to play with his cat. He didn’t celebrate my birthday except for a card but I was lavish on his birthday. Same with Valentines Day but he wants extra sex on both of those days from me. When we were in Florida he kept tipping 10% at the restaurants. So, I would slide a better tip under my plate to even it out. I was so embarrassed. 

If you feel like you hit the jackpot with me, and I am way out of your league, then pay up mother fucker and be grateful I am willing to grin through this shit.

This enlightens me to why you believe all men are pig losers. You surround yourself with the worst of the worst.

Yeah, well, someday I will have a degree and make my own money. Then, I will look for decent men willing to treat me with a little respect. Do you think they exist?

I would like to introduce next week’s episode. Episode 21: Power Tripping and how it strains a relationship. The power balance in relationships is delicate. We all need to feel powerful in some capacity. Submissive behavior can be a form of power tripping. How do you deal with partners that power trip on you? How do you regain your own sense of power and is it worth it to stick around and play that game?

We want you guys to submit your ideas/stories/and questions pertaining to next week’s topic. You can email us. Or, join our patreon. We want to hear from you. And if you got anything out of today’s episode give us some love, subscribe, and rate us.

Thank you so much everyone for listening. We love you. See you next week on Dating Hypothesis!!!

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